Page 79 of Crash
I glanced at him, my eyes wide. “You don’t?”
“Shit, no. I couldn’t even if I tried.”
Then why did this feel like the end?
“We knew this was going to happen,” he went on when I didn’t say anything. “I was only ever going to be here for a couple of months.”
“I know, but now that it’s here…” I trailed off with a shrug. Why did it feel like I was losing him already?
“We’ll work it out,” he said. “Sydney isn’t that far away.”
I tried to smile, but I couldn’t find it in me. It was only a couple of hours by plane, but it may as well have been the other side of the planet. I’d conquered going to work and going out to lunch, but going to the airport and flying to Sydney? I began to tremble, and Lincoln pulled me against his side.
“I’m sorry,” I said, old fears beginning to grow anew. “I don’t know if I can…”
He turned, facing me straight on. “Don’t know if you can what?”
“No, not that,” I exclaimed, grasping his forearms. “Getting on a plane…” I closed my eyes, beginning to hate myself for piling yet another of my stupid problems on him. “I’m sorry. You didn’t sign up for this. You’ve already done so much for me.”
Lincoln sighed sharply and knocked my hands away. I jerked backward, but he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me onto his lap and against his chest. His lips hit my own, making me gasp in surprise, and his tongue instantly dove against mine. He kissed me hard and fast, pulling back just as I was beginning to ache.
“I don’t give a stuff,” he said huskily. “I want this to work, Vee. It’s just another hurdle we can overcome together. You and me.”
“You and me?”
“Fuckin’ oath.”
“I just…” I swallowed.”I just wish I was stronger for you.”
“Vee,” he said through a heavy sigh. “You are. You fuckin’ are. Don’t think that.”
He held me close, but I just couldn’t shake it.
“I just don’t want to lose you,” I whispered, pressing my cheek against his chest. “I feel like I’ve just found who I’m meant to be.”
“You would’ve found her without me,” he replied, his chin moving against the top of my head.
I didn’t reply. I just squeezed my arms around him.
“We’ve got a couple of days,” he said after a moment. “I wanna spend them all with you. We can do anything you want, just name it.”
A couple of days… It would never be enough time. I wanted it all, but that was selfish. He had a life to attend to in Sydney, and I couldn’t be one of those women.The jealous, needy kind who kept their boyfriends on a tight leash.
The more I dwelt on the hollowness that was chewing at the edges of my heart, the more I thought I might be too attached to him. If I was attached, was it for the wrong reasons? Would I fall apart and revert to old tendencies the moment he left?
It was one thing having someone treat me the way Lincoln did, but it was another to be able to stand on my own two feet.
“I’vegottago back downstairs,” he said after a moment. “Ash has got me finishing up the week, but the rest of it is yours.”
Nodding, I peeled myself away from him and found my own chair again.
“Tonight?” he asked. “Dinner and whatever?”
“Sure.”
He smiled, raising his hand to cup my cheek, and I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes. He was the only man I’d ever trusted to make love to me, and maybe he’d be the last…and now we were being forced apart. It wasn’t aRomeo and Julietkind of epic story, but to me, it felt like it. Little things, tiny victories, they were the entire world for someone small like me.
“Cool,” Lincoln murmured. “I’ll stop by the supermarket on the way to yours. I’ll make you something epic.”
