Page 88 of Crash
The first thing I did when I got to work the next morning wasfindmy elusive brother. He hadn’t answered his phone last night, and I assumed it was because he was with Ren. There was no prying him away when he got to training with his girlfriend.
“Ash?” I called out as I walked into the apartment.
There was a bang from someplace within and a moment later, he emerged from the bedroom looking rumpled.
“Shit,” I exclaimed. “Were you asleep?”
“Yeah,” he replied, rubbing his eyes. “I crashed here last night and forgot to set my alarm. What time is it?”
“Just after eight.” I looked him up and down. “You’re working too many hours. Between here and coaching downstairs—”
“I’m okay,” he said, waving me off. “What’s up, squirt?”
I rolled my eyes and joined him at the kitchen counter. “I want to go to Sydney.”
Ash spluttered, choking on his own spit. “You what?”
“I need to do it now or forever be a slave to my stupid anxiety,” I declared.
“Is everything okay with Lincoln?” He narrowed his eyes.
“It’s the distance thing,” I explained, glancing at my hands. “It’s only been a week or so, but it’s a problem. He’s not happy. I can hear it in his voice.” I swallowed hard, my throat beginning to feel thick with tears.
“And you’re not either?”
I shook my head. “It’s me. My problems are keeping us apart. He wants to help me, but fighting up there is his dream, Ash. How can I not do something about it? I can’t ask him to quit and come back after a couple of months of being together, so going to him is the only solution I can see. I couldn’t ask him to quit at all.”
Ash was silent for a moment, and I glanced up at him. I could see the cogs turning in his brain, and usually, I’d be alarmed at the scheme he was cooking, but today, it felt different.
“It’s a big step,” he said. “Coming out to Pulse was motherfuckin’ huge, but Sydney? You may as well be going to the Moon, squirt.”
“I know, but I have to try.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“The thing about fear,” I said, remembering what Lincoln had told me the night he’d stripped and let me touch him wherever I wanted, “is the only way to overcome it,isto do the thing that scares you the most.”
“So, you’re going to Sydney.”
I grinned, my confidence levels soaring. “Can I have some time off?”
He raised his eyebrows and opened the fridge, pulling out a carton of milk. “Sure thing. Just make sure you want it.”
“I want it.”
“Then go get it.” Opening the milk, he downed a few mouthfuls straight from the carton.
Turning, I began to walk across the apartment, but Ash called out after me.
“When and how long?”
Pausing by the door, I said, “This afternoon and I don’t know.”
“Fine, well, let me know when you’re ready, and I’ll give you a ride to the airport.”
I hadn’t thought that far, and I was glad he’d brought it up. “Okay.”
Going back to the office, I sat at the computer and pulled up aninternetbrowser. Typing in the address to make the booking, I hesitated. Maybe I should call Josie. Not only was she Ren’s best friendbutshe was also the Twins’ PR manager and would be able to help me with Lincoln’s whereabouts. She was tall, blonde and glamorous but totally down to earth. Ballsy had nothing on it. She would be able to help cook up a surprise for my boyfriend for sure.
