Page 29 of Quake
Caleb nodded and handed me back my bag, our fingers catching. I could hear the dull beat of Turkish music coming from the unit next door, and the scent of the gardenia tree on the porch floated on the humid air.
I was fooling myself. Thinking things wouldn’t get hazy the longer we hung out together. I harbored an attraction to the man I could hardly contain, especially when he was looking at me like he was now. Like I was a light in the darkness.
How could I show him the way when I was so unbelievably lost?
Caleb sighed and raised his hand. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers brushed against my cheek. I was caught, unable to move let alone speak. I was trapped…but that was the thing. I wanted to be.
The space between us closed as our bodies gravitated toward one another, his gaze piercing mine intently. He was searching for something I didn’t quite understand—maybe he was looking for signs someone rational lived inside me—and when he was done, he leaned closer, his breath hitching slightly.
He was going to kiss me.Finally. I hadn’t been imagining it. This thing I was feeling went both ways.
I was waiting for the moment his lips hit mine, bracing myself for the taste I’d been fantasizing about, but it never came.
Caleb dropped his hand and edged back, waiting for me to unlock the door.
Unable to meet his gaze, I felt my heart twist as I fumbled in my bag. My hand shook as I jammed the key into the lock and turned it, the mechanism clicking and letting the door swing inward. Reaching inside, I flipped on the lounge room light and waited.
“Okay?” he asked.
I knew he was asking for permission to leave, so I nodded.
At the last possible moment, I glanced up. The second my gaze hit his, I faltered, the look in his eyes saying everything.
He didn’t want me. After all that… He’d seen all he needed to.
Shying away, I slipped inside and closed the door, blocking out my heartache. Leaning against the wall, I listened to his footsteps as he walked away, leaving me to my misery.
Just as I’d expected, my fear had fucked everything up yet again. I should’ve been strong enough to walk the fifteen minutes home on my own. I shouldn’t need a man’s hand to hold so I could make it through life without pissing my pants over a specter that murdered my sister all those years ago.
I shouldn’t have let Caleb see me like that, and now everything had changed. I could feel the certainty oozing out of every pore. It was over. The one thing that kept me afloat was gone, and I was sinking once more.
Humiliation and regret washed over me as I made sure the deadbolt on the front door had clicked into place.Always looking over my shoulder.
How could I go back to Beat now?
12
Caleb
Icouldn’t takeadvantage of her.
If I started something, I’d have to finish it, and I didn’t know if I was strong enough, let alone the right kind of man for a woman like Juliette. She needed someone to help heal whatever had broken her. Someone strong and capable, someone who could keep her safe. I wasn’t that man. I was broken, too. Two broken people couldn’t fix one another. Could they?
Maybe they could find solace together but longevity? Love? I didn’t think it was possible.
I was off my game today. My mind was all over the place after a sleepless night in the back room over the studio, my focus haphazardly split over so many scenarios I couldn’t keep up. Not even a quick wank in the shower had cleared the tension I’d been carrying since leaving Juliette on her doorstep. You would think playing with my cock would help some but nope. It only made things worse.
Seriously, the entire morning had been one fuck up after another, not including yesterday’s circus with my father.
After getting punched in the head by Mitch and getting the piss taken out of me by the other guys, I’d retreated to the office before I completely lost my temper.
When the door burst open, interrupting my silent seething, I almost jumped a mile.
“There you are, you fucking sook,” Ren Miller declared, bounding into the office, a ball of bright, bubbly energy that did nothing to elevate my mood. “Frank told me you were up here crying into your milk. Mitch punch you in the head that hard?”
“Of all the days, you pick today,” I drawled, sinking back into my chair.
“I know how to pick ’em a mile off,” she said, flopping down into the other office chair and swinging around. “I have a million things I need to discuss with you about your dad’s list of demands, but right now, all I want to know is what’s eating your ass? I’ve never seen you look so foul, Carmichael.”
