Page 34 of Quake
“Don’t,” I whispered. “I get it.”
“Do you?” he asked, the goofy smile I’d come to fantasize about nowhere in sight.
“I get that I’m hard work,” I shot back. “I get that I’m so messed up I can’t even stand walking home at eight in the evening. I can’t even glance at a shadow without shitting myself. I get that nobody wants to deal with it. I don’t want to deal with it. I just want it to go away.Just go away.”
“I’m not going away.”
“You want to,” I cried. “I saw it.I saw it.”
“We met at exactly the right time,” he said firmly. “We both needed our lives to change. I can give you what you need, Jules.”
I stared at him, blindsided by his conviction. What about him? With the baggage I was still carrying around, could I give him what he needed?Bullshit.
“Just by being here, you…” He hesitated, his jaw tensing.
Say it.I stared at him, my throat tightening with blossoming tears.Please.
I wanted someone to say they needed me andmean it. I was tired of floating through life alone and unwanted, deemed too difficult to bother with. I wanted to matter. I wanted to love. I wanted to live, but I needed help. I needed Caleb.
But he didn’t say anything, and the look in his eyes said it all. He regretted the words he’d already spoken and was wishing he could take them back. I’d seen that look a thousand times before.
“It’s okay,” I whispered, attempting to hide my anguish. Stepping away, I picked up my hoodie and shook it out, pulling the sleeve back in the right way. “I understand. I don’t blame you.”
“Juliette…”
“Don’t,” I said, closing my eyes in an attempt to control myself. “Thank you, for taking the time to help me learn, but I think I should go somewhere else from now on.”
“Juliette,” he said firmly, closing the space between us. “Stop.”
I shook my head, my fingers tightening around my hoodie.
“You’ve got this all wrong,” he murmured, his hand curling around my wrist. His touch sent a familiar burst of sparks rushing up and down my arm, and tears began to well.
I wanted him, but he was about to tell me it was too much work. I knew it, he knew it, and all that was left was for him to say the words.
“Juliette,” he said again. “Look at me.”
I was frozen to the spot, too afraid to leave and too afraid to stay. When I didn’t move, his hand cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that had dislodged itself.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered, coaxing my chin up. “I don’t want you to go someplace else. I don’t want you to go at all.”
“But…”
“Stay,” he said, lowering his lips toward mine. “Stay with me.” His breath tickled my skin. “I need you to stay.”
He needed me. I was transfixed, caught in his web, stuck with nowhere else to go but down the rabbit hole hand in hand with a man who was scarred, maybe not as deeply as me, but still willing to jump.
“I… This…” I couldn’t get the words out to explain that I didn’t want this to be a just physical thing. It was far too late for me to extract myself and not be brokenhearted. I was more than attached to Caleb. I was sliding uncontrollably down a slippery slope with no way back.
“Juliette,” he said roughly, his fingers weaving through my hair, his hand cupping the back of my head.
Lifting my face to his, he drew me close and brushed his mouth against mine. He kissed me softly at first, then his tongue pressed at the seam of my lips, and I melted against him, my fingers searching for purchase on his tank top in case my knees buckled beneath me.
His tongue dove deep as did mine, the feelings I’d been struggling against bursting to the surface and taking hold of my senses. He was warm and sweet, gentle yet firm, and everything I’d imagined him to be.
Caressing my palms over his chest, he dropped his arms and circled my waist, holding me close as I thrust my hands into his hair, my control completely shot. His touch became demanding, his hands rubbing over my ass before settling on my hips and tugging me against his thigh. He moved me back and forth, massaging a sharp burst of pleasure between my legs.
Oh, God, it was too much. My fingers dug into his scalp, and I kissed him hard, alarmed at the passion I’d been bottling up inside me. If I didn’t stop, I’d let Caleb do me right here in the weight room.
