Page 9 of Quake
There was no way of finding her, considering she didn’t even tell me her name—or speak more than a handful of words—but I had to do something if I could.
Going downstairs, I found Tommy in the kitchen.
“Hey,” I said, snapping my fingers to get his attention. “If that woman comes back, let me know, okay?”
“Sure.” He raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything more. He knew the kind of guy I was.
After what I’d been through, I realized actually giving a shit about people was more rewarding than burying your head in the sand. It was easier to give up than it was to fight, and seeing the look in that woman’s eyes… It would be a shame if she gave up.
5
Juliette
Monday morning rolled around, and I finally emerged into the sunlight.?????
I was way too embarrassed to go back to the gym—I later found out it was called Beat—so I hid at home all weekend until there was no other recourse. I couldn’t stuff up my only chance at getting some semblance of the life I wanted back from the clutches of the monster who took my sister. Where would it leave me then?
I showered, dressed, slathered a ton of concealer under my eyes, and took the tram into the city for the first day of week number two. It would take time to adjust, right? Seeing that crime scene was an unwanted hiccup, but there were going to be some roadblocks along the way. That was what all the self-help books Mum had forced down my throat told me.
My mother had my best interests at heart, and I couldn’t blame her for trying, but all she seemed to do was read one after the other, looking for the answer she wanted to hear. There was no action being taken on any of the advice, no absorption of the ideas and techniques, and especially no manifestation. I loved my mum, I did, but I didn’t want to be like that.
Things sounded simple when I sat down and thought about it—go out, do things, acknowledge the problem, talk about what happened, experience life, etcetera, etcetera—but there was one piece of the puzzle missing. How the hell did I take the first step? And more importantly…where did I put my feet?
Sitting at my desk, I stared at the screen, my to-do list from Jade open to one side, my email program in a minimized tab, and Google open in front of me. I stared at the screen so hard, it almost started to look like the white sheet. A million little pixels shaking their tiny fists of rage at me.Get over yourself, Jules, they were shouting.You can’t even go into a gym without humiliating yourself.
Enough!If this were a book or a movie, the reviews would all go on about how the main character was such a drag. I didn’t want two stars for being a whiny bitch. I slammed my fist down on the surface of my desk, earning me a glance from Hayley.
Staring at the open Google page, I typed in, ‘getting a grip on reality.’ Not getting a decent hit, I changed it to ‘living with fear-based anxiety’ and thumped my finger on the enter key.
All the things I knew I should be doing came up. Avoid avoidance. Promote positivity. Find meaning. Get support. Go for a walk. Add ‘go to self-defense class on Tuesday night?’ and I had the semblance of a first step.????
Thinking about the guy—what was his name?Caleb—I began to picture him in my mind’s eye. I’d acted like such a freak. How could I go back there without dying of embarrassment? He probably had a good laugh with those beefy boxers who’d gawked at me the moment I’d run away.Oh, God, I’d run away.
He was so nice to me when he realized I was having a complete freak-out. And he was…wow. Totally smoking hot with his blue eyes and his stubble, and his muscles… Oh, fuck. Now I had an instantaneous crush on a stranger. A hot stranger, who I was now picturing kissing and how he’d put his hands on my…Oh, fuck!
“Who is he?”
I glanced up in surprise as Hayley hung over my desk, propping her elbow on a stack of papers and resting her chin in her palm. She fluttered her eyebrows and smiled.
“No one,” I blurted, my cheeks turning red.
“Oh, don’t give me that,” she declared. “You just turned beetroot red, Jules.Dish.”
“What guy?” Dom asked from behind me. “Is he hot? Where did you find him? You’ve been here for a week, and you’ve already got a crush to perv on? No fair! You girls have all the luck.”
“Stop your pouting,” Hayley fired at him, twirling a lock of blonde hair around her finger. “You’re worse than a teenage girl.” Turning her attention back to me, she asked. “So? Who’s the guy?”
“No one,” I replied sheepishly. “Really.”
“She’s holding out on us,” Dom declared.
“I’m not holding out,” I grumbled. “I saw a guy I thought was handsome, and I made a fool out of myself in front of him. Now I’m stewing in the juices of my own humiliation.”
“Oh, honey,” Dom said, waving his hand at me. “Haven’t we all.”
“Fuck what he thinks,” Hayley said. “Looking like you do, there’ll be another guy right around the corner who won’t give a stuff. Guaranteed.”
I blinked in bewilderment. “Looking like I do?”
