Page 11 of Rush
“Yeah,” I muttered. “She did.”
Cole grunted and slapped me on the back of the head. “Explains a lot.”
Before I could call him out, he disappeared out into the gym, leaving me sitting there with a ton of dredged up baggage on my shoulders. Baggage I thought I’d dealt with the moment we all graduated high school. Teenage shit that had no place in our adult lives.
It had always been about Jade, but she’d chosen someone else without even knowing I wanted her. How many relationships had I been in since? A handful of casual arrangements and one or two six-month stints. Nothing special.
Jade Forsyth had ruined me.
5
Jade
Istareddown at Little Bourke Street from my hotel room window and bashed my head against the reinforced glass.
In the distance, I heard the furious dinging of a disgruntled tram driver and beyond that, the day to day hum of the city. None of it calmed or distracted me from my current predicament. Which was dumped, homeless, and alone.
I was beyond crying by now. The amount of shit that had piled on top of me had strangled the will to feel out of my chest. Just as well since I was having a hard time toning down my puffy eyes.
After yesterday’s terrifying brunch, I’d gone past the MAC Cosmetics counter in Myer. They sat me in a chair and reapplied my makeup while I sat there staring blankly into the mirror. Then I’d promptly bought everything they tried to sell me.
It was empty. All of it was a void of shit and nothing. I felt good for five minutes, and the moment I walked out of the shop and stood on Bourke Street, it’d all come crashing down again.
Dumped, homeless, and alone.
It was like Hunter’s betrayal had slapped me out of a haze, and I saw my life for what it had become. While my back was turned and I was focused on building my career, I’d forgotten I was a living, breathing human being. My engagement and my friends were an illusion.
They represented the things I desperately wanted but never really had.
All the years I’d known those women, all they ever did was bitch and moan about other people. Was that kind of person I was? Obsessed with being friends with people so I could get to better people? Did I care about money, fame, and elitist snobbery more than I did my accomplishments? Deep down, I knew I was afraid of being alone, so I’d brushed off Margaret’s callousness in a desperate attempt to belong someplace.
It was the same thing I’d done with Hunter. I wanted to be loved, so I overlooked all the signs until they’d hit me square in the face.
I’d become a monster without even knowing it, buying into the social climbing bullshit like a gullible, naive little girl. I had to get out.
Turning, I flailed my way through the curtains and marched into the bathroom. Slapping some foundation on my face and dragging a comb through my hair, I prettied myself up as best I could before grabbing my handbag.
There was no way I was sitting in this dreary, sterile room that looked just like the same three hundred dreary, sterile rooms in the hotel. I was not going to be held hostage by my own stupid heart, Hunter’s betrayal, and the false sense of failure instilled by Margaret Anastas, mega bitch.
Yanking the key card out of the wall, I marched downstairs and out onto the street, flagging down the first taxi that came along. Just like the old Jade would’ve done. She took no prisoners, stood for zero bullshit, and owned her decisions.Water off a duck’s back.
“Where to?” the driver asked as I slammed the door closed.
I hesitated, my determination starting to fizzle out. WherewasI going? There was no one I could turn to…or was there? One name popped into my mind, and my heart leapt. I knew it was either going to be a suicide mission or a chance to rekindle a lost friendship, but I had to see him.
I could drown in my heartache, reliving the moment I found Hunter sinking his cock into some random bitch, or I could do what all those women did in the books I marketed for a living. Take my fucking life back and discover who I was meant to be.
I had to take the chance. Otherwise, I would’ve learned nothing at all. What an anticlimax.
“Abbotsford,” I declared. “Nicholson Street.”
The taxi pulled out into the Sunday morning? traffic, and I was on my way. Like Thelma sans Louise. Like Bonnie without her Clyde. No, both of those were wrong. Like motherfucking Zena, Warrior Princess. ?????
The closer the taxi got to Pulse Fitness, the less I felt like Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, and the more I felt like throwing up…out of both ends. Ryan had left on Friday without so much as a goodbye. What if he didn’t want to see me again?
“Miss? Miss, we’re here.”
Blinking, I realized we’d pulled up out the front of the gym. Handing over some cash, I told the driver to keep the change and stepped out onto the footpath.
