Page 14 of Rush
He frowned, glancing out of the window. He didn’t know, either.
The food arrived, and we ate in silence, the air palpable.
“What about Margarine and the one with the brown hair and that other girl?” he asked after a while. “They’re still your friends, right?”
“They laughed at me behind my back,” I replied, flinching at the memory of brunch-ageddon. I didn’t even care when Ryan called her Margarine on purpose. “I’m pretty sure Margaret knew about Hunter and didn’t tell me. I don’t know what to do about that, either.”
“You need different people in your life,” he said with ahumph. “People that give a shit about stuff besides social status.”
Boy, was he right, or was he right?
“The people at the gym where I train are good,” he went on. “They have their different personalities and have been through their own struggles, but they’re good people, Jade. You could use a different world perspective.”
“Fighters?” I asked warily.
“And their girls.” He raised an eyebrow.
“So it’s not a sausage fest?”
Ryan snorted, his lips quirking. “No, not a complete sausage fest.”
Oh, God, I just didn’t know.
“What’s on your mind, J?” He’d been watching my silent existential crisis unfolding, and I felt like climbing under the table, sticking my fingers in my ears, and screaming ‘la, la, la, la’ until everything went away. Even if it took the rest of my life. “C’mon. Spit it out.”
“I’ve been chained to my desk for so long I’ve lost sight of life.” I threw my hands into the air. “I can’t remember the last time I took a holiday that didn’t double as a work trip. I can’t even tell you the last time I did something just for fun.”
“Well, let’s make a list.”
“What do you mean?”
“Write down all the things you want to do just because you want to do them.” He shrugged. “It’s to do with manifesting or some shit.”
I cocked my head to the side. “Manifesting?”
“Some new age bullshit my coach told me once,” he replied. “You’re more likely to do something if you have a physical representation of it. Or at least, that’s what I think he meant…”
The pieces were beginning to fall together in my mind.
“No wonder Hunter fucked around behind my back,” I muttered. “I was too busy working to notice, let alone give him what he needed.”
“Don’t you dare say that shit to me again,” Ryan snapped, making me flinch. “You might be a workaholic, Jade, but you didn’t deserve to be treated like you did. Hunter deserves to have his balls ripped off. I told you the other day, but you have to start believing it.” He gestured toward my bag. “Do you have any paper? A pen?”
“I, uh…” Stunned, I fished through my bag and pulled out an old receipt and a pen, placing them on the table.
“I want you to write your own list,” Ryan commanded. “Think of all the things you wished you could’ve done but were too busy to do because you were working.”
“A list?” I repeated.
“A bucket list.”
“But I’m not dying…”
He laughed, his expression softening. “You don’t have to be to write a bucket list, J. Stop being your argumentative self and humor me, okay?”
“I’m not argumentative!” I exclaimed.
“Case in point.”
