Page 42 of Rush
“What I know is that you’ve been more alive in these past few days than in your whole life.”
“I suppose you think that’s all because of you? What do you want from me? A fucking trophy?”
I felt rage pooling in my stomach, and my heart jackhammered wildly in my chest. Of all the stubborn, headstrong…
“Tell me!” she yelled, her hands balling into fists. “What the fuck do you want from me?”
Striding across the room, I thrust my hands into her hair and caught her mouth with mine. My lips were hard against hers, and when she beat her fists against my chest, I hardly noticed. After a blistering moment, I eased the pressure of my embrace and pulled away, gasping for breath.
My chest heaved as we stood there in silence, staring at one another. I didn’t have anything else to say. That kiss had done the work for me.
Her gaze dropped to my lips, then returned to mine. Then she moved forward, her hands grasping onto my T-shirt, and it was all the encouragement I needed.
Our lips collided in a surge of heat, and she opened to me immediately. Thrusting my tongue against hers, we kissed and kissed, our hands wandering, our breath mingling, and our passion soaring.
I ran my hands down her back, caressing the curve of her waist, rubbing the swell of her ass and coaxing her closer. She tasted exactly how I remembered from that day at the water park. Sweet, forbidden, and completely fucking off the charts.
It felt right, Jade’s body against mine, her kiss, her everything… I wanted to kiss her a thousand times over. I wanted to make her come, make her smile, and give her everything. Did she see it now?
Finally, she tore her lips from mine and stumbled. If it weren’t for my arms caged around her, she would’ve collapsed to the ground.
“I…” She was trembling in my grasp, her palms against my chest. “I…”
“Jade,” I murmured, running my hands through her hair. I wanted nothing more than to go further. Sex, commitment, the whole nine yards. I wanted to give her the life she deserved.
Her entire body went rigid, and that was how I knew she didn’t want this. She regretted kissing me. She regretted it all.
This whole time, it had been one sided. What was it she’d said about her whole life being one long joke at her expense? Well, it wasn’t hers that was the punch line.
Letting her go, I edged backward, putting some distance between us. She would either fall back into my arms once the shock had worn off or she would hightail it out of here.
Her gaze lowered, and for a sickening moment, she said and did nothing. Then she snatched up her handbag and practically ran from the apartment, the door slamming behind her.
I stood there for a long time. Around me was nothing but silence and rage, my heart beating even though it felt torn in two.
I was nothing to her.
15
Jade
Idon’t knowwhat came over me.
I bolted down the stairs, pushed out onto the street, and kept running. Well, it was more of a fast walk than a full-on sprint.
My hands shook as I put distance between Ryan and myself. I was so confused. That kiss had come out of nowhere, and our argument was just as mysterious. Things had just blown up. Just like that.
I was not biding my time until I could go back to Hunter. Not this time. I was all grown up and nothing like that seventeen-year-old girl who was dying to be accepted by the in-crowd. Even as I told myself, I knew it was a lie. I was still doing it all these years later when I should know better.
Margaret was still pulling my strings, manipulating me into being a follower and pushing my accomplishments down until I thought they were nowhere good enough to feel proud of. I was still killing myself at work to be the best, and for what? So I could be thrown a tiny scrap of praise from my friends that would later be taken away from me? Because I wanted the world to think I was a well-to-do, put-together young woman who should be put up on some pointless pedestal?
Crossing the car park of the local McDonalds, I went inside, ordered a coffee and a macaroon, and sat in an isolated corner by the front windows.
Watching people navigate into the drive-through, I fought back tears. Everything was a mess.Everything. If Ryan was right, I hadn’t changed at all.
Sorting through my handbag, I pulled out my purse, compact, an old lipstick I’d forgotten about, a book I’d been reading, my phone…it all went on the table in front me. Flipping through the novel, I picked out a receipt that had worked its way between the pages.
Soothing the folded receipt over the table, I realized it was from the day after I’d found Hunter with that woman. It was the rundown of all the things I’d bought from MAC Cosmetics after brunch with Margaret, Heather, and Belinda. Thinking about our weekly meeting, I realized I’d missed today’s bitching session. Snorting, I knew I would cop it soon enough—and would’ve been the topic of choice—but I hardly cared.
