Page 67 of Rush
“Keep going…” Kevin’s ears had pricked up big time.
Excitedly, I gave him the low down, explaining everything that had happened and everything I wanted to say. There was no more humiliation as I recounted what had befallen me. The only thing that radiated from my heart was the desire to own up to the awful things I’d done and set them right. For the first time in my life, I needed to be real. With myself…and with Ryan.
This was the truth—no agenda, no attempts at repairing my reputation—and it would serve as a warning and a reminder that the life I wanted wasn’t the key to happiness. And when all that was said, hopefully, Ryan would see, and I would have a chance at showing him how I’d been feeling this entire time. That I was in love with him.
I’d had myEat, Praymoments, and now it was time forLoveto have its shot.
26
Jade
Sittingbeside Kevin at his desk inside theHerald Sunoffices, I waited as he pulled up the finalized article he’d put together.
After a day and night of answering questions and detailing every sordid little part of my once charmed life—the fake kind of charmed—the words now sat in front of me, and all that was left to do was hit send.
My story was a last-minute addition, cleared by the editor in chief and fast-tracked for an appearance in this Saturday’s edition of theLifestylemagazine. Everyone loved a tearjerker, and the paper wanted to cash in on sales, clicks, and shares on social media. I knew all about leveraging a good story to make a buck. I used to sell this kind of thing for a living.
“Do you want to give it one last look?” Kevin asked.
Glancing out the window, I studied the darkening city beyond. Lights had flicked on, and office buildings and the street below were lit up like it was Christmas. I’d always wondered who sat behind all those glass squares. Maybe they were people like me, making last-ditch efforts to apologize and declare their love.
“Jade?”
Glancing at him, I smiled. It wasn’t easy to see my selfishness laid bare, but it was the truth. Every grain.
“Can I put a note at the end?” I asked. “Just a few lines. There’s someone who needs a special mention.”
“Ryan?” he asked, his lips quirking. “Are you going to ask him to meet you somewhere and kiss you?”
Shaking my head, I laughed softly at the reference to the romcomNever Been Kissedthat inspired my story. “No, nothing like that. I don’t think he would like the attention.”
Taking the keyboard, I tapped out my last words. It read like a eulogy, a final goodbye to a life that had never been worth much at all despite the flashy facade. Finally, I allowed Kevin to read over my declaration and make a few grammatical corrections before we were done. The story was ready to send to the typesetter to prepare for tonight’s print run.
“Are you sure about this?” Kevin positioned the mouse over the send button on his email. “You could go viral for all the wrong reasons.”
“I’m sure,” I replied firmly. “That’s why they call it a risk, right? You never know what will happen. Not for sure.”
“You’ve got guts, Forsyth.”
Grabbing the mouse, I clicked the cursor on the send button.
“I sure do, Merritt. I sure do.”
Ryan trained on Saturdays.
Standing in the entrance of Pulse Fitness, I took a deep breath. My palms were sweating, my knees were shaking, and vomit was percolating in the back of my throat. Any second now, my head would spin around and I would puke everywhere,Exorciststyle.
A copy of theLifestylemagazine was shoved under my arm, a bright yellow Post-it note marking the place where a two-page story about all my mistakes and regrets was printed for all the world to see.
C’mon, Jade, I thought to myself.If he doesn’t see it, then it was all for nothing. This is your grand gesture. He wanted real…this is as real as it gets.
A man and a woman in their fancy active wear scanned their security tags and pushed into the gym. Before I lost my nerve, I slipped through the door behind them.
Being Saturday, the place was pumping. Classes were underway in the private rooms to the side, almost all of the machines were taken, and a training session was happening in the ring at the rear. Scanning the bustle, I couldn’t see Ryan anywhere, and my heart began to sink.
“Jade?”
At the sound of my name, I turned and came face to face with an intimidating, hulking man. His brow was dark as he looked down at me, and I noticed an intricate black and gray tattoo peeking out from behind his tight tank top. He was hot, but I also noticed he was wearing a wedding ring.
