Page 72 of Rush
That was two out of four rounds. He was in the lead, and Ren told me if he won the next, he would take the match.
The third round began without much fanfare, and I squirmed as the two men faced off. The other guy—I’d forgotten his name ages ago—had amped up his game knowing this was make or break.
Before I knew what was happening, Ryan made a bid to end the round and claim victory seconds into the set. He launched his fist in a wide arc, and it was too fast for his opponent. Ryan’s knuckles slammed into his head, dropping the guy like a sack of potatoes.
The crowd went wild, and Ren grabbed my arm and shook me.
“What just happened?” I asked, my eyes wide as sound assaulted me from every direction. Everyone was losing their shit.
“Knockout!” she yelled. “He dropped that guy like he was nothing! Three seconds into the round! Did you see that? Talk about a fucking debut!” She howled into the air like a wolf, and I stood there shell-shocked.
Then out of the chaos, Ash appeared, slinking down the row until he found us. “C’mon.” He grabbed my hand and practically catapulted me out of my seat.
“Don’t dislocate her shoulder, sweetness!” Ren called out after us, obviously having a great time taking the piss out of her husband.
“Is she always like that?” I asked, trying to distract myself from what I supposed was my imminent face-off with Ryan.
“Every day the same thing. A big pain in my ass. It’s why I love her.”
He led me out into the competitor only area, flashing his pass to get us past security, then he wove through the halls. I had no idea where we were, and all the twists and turns revealed yet another passage that looked exactly like the passage we’d been down right before.
Finally, he opened a door and poked his head into the room beyond. Seeming satisfied, he yanked me inside. There was a locker, a bench, a television on one wall playing a stream of what was happening outside in the arena, and another room, which housed a shower and toilet. It was Ryan’s change room, but he wasn’t in it. Not yet.
“Where…” I began.
“Doing post-fight interviews,” Ash explained. “He’s the toast of the AUFC right now. That KO was phenomenal! I should get out there and muscle in on the action. Will you be okay?”
“I’m shitting bricks.” I squirmed to prove my point.
“Wait for him here,” Ash said with a grin. “Everything will be okay. Just say what you said to me, okay?”
I nodded, and before I could change my mind, he was gone.
Glancing around the change room, I spied the copy of theLifestylemagazine I’d given Ash. He’d obviously kept his word about giving it to Ryan, but had the fighter read it? It was crumpled and tossed aside, which didn’t bode well. My stomach gurgled, and the toilet was quickly turning into an option.
He would be here soon, and I would have to give him a speech. What could I say that I hadn’t already put into the article? I’d poured everything I had into it. My words were gone. I couldn’t just stand here and say,How’s about that crazy article, yo?
The door opened abruptly, and I turned, my heart jackhammering. Ryan powered into the room, grinning from ear to ear, still buzzing from his win. A towel was flung over his shoulder, and sometime between the octagon and now, he’d pulled on a T-shirt, covered in what I gathered were his sponsor’s logos.
His gaze collided with mine, and his smile faded. Behind him, Ash closed the door, shutting out the chaos beyond.
“Hey,” I said, shrugging, all my carefully thought-out speeches about a girl loving a boy dissolving.
He sucked in a sharp breath through his nose and didn’t say anything.
“I thought about what I was going to say to you because I knew I would get to this moment and crash and burn,” I blurted. “But I can’t remember a damn thing.”
He blinked, his shoulders tensing.
“You taught me that life was for living, not for working,” I said. “That cutting down everything and everyone to get at the prize wasn’t worth it. But sometimes you have to cut…through all the fake bullshit… You have to cut away everything to get to the real.”
He was stone. An impenetrable wall of nothing. His eyes were blank, his face frozen in time. The Ryan I knew wasn’t there…but he had to be. I wasn’t saying the right words.
“I fought for the wrong things, Ryan,” I went on. “I thought it was all about status and praise and money and all those fucking shallow things. You showed me I could be more, that I was more. You showed me a different life, and after I…” I sighed, my hands shaking. “All this time, I should’ve been fighting for you, and it shouldn’t have taken losing everything to realize it. I’m trying to make amends, I’m trying to be a better person, but I would like to do it with your forgiveness. Everything has been cut away, and this is real. What I feel is real. I love you, Ryan. I always have. I was just too stupid to see it.”
He was still staring at me, but now his brow had creased, and he was scowling. His gaze bore down on me with all the hatred I probably deserved. I’d broken him, after all. This was the last piece of karma come to right the balance of the universe.
“Right…” I muttered, tearing my gaze away. “I, uh…”
