Page 82 of The Devil's Tattoo

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“I can’t make excuses for him,” he said quietly. “I don’t know why he did it, but I do know that youandhim—”

“Me and himnothing.” It came out so full of hate and anger that I even scared myself. “If a quick fuck on the side was what he wanted, then he fucking got it. I believed I was nothing for so long, and he made me believe. He made me believe I was worth something. Now he has his fucking future back, and I’m kicked to the fucking curb. Any faith I had in the human race before was pitiful, but now it’s allfuckinggone.”

Pete grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at him. “Calm down. It’s not like thatatall.”

“I can’t fuckingcalm down. Do you understand how I feel? I feel like a fraud. I’m the other woman. I’m nothing but something to be used. That’s how I feel. He didn’t hit me like…” I bit my lip to stop myself and took a deep breath. “But he may aswellhave.”

“Someone hit you?” Pete’s eyes widened. “Zoe,I—”

“Dropit,Pete.”

He let go of my shoulders and took a step back, uncertainty etched into hisfeatures.

“He needs to stay awayfromme.”

I turned to leave, but Pete wasn’t done with me yet. “Look, I know Will better than anyone. We grew up together. We lived on the same street since we were six. This thing with him and you? It’s real, Zoe. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. You need to let himexplain.”

“I’m done with explanations.” I pushed the door open and stalked out, trying to hold myself together. He may have meant well, but all Pete had done was make it a billion timesworse.

Once upon a time, the man I’d loved betrayed me and destroyed my life. Now it was happening again. I was so done. No one was ever getting inagain.

And just like that, the walls around my heart slammedclosed.

* * *

After the gig,I waited for the guys just inside the venue, well aware The Stabs were still busy packing up. So far, Pete and Dee had stayed true to their word and kept Will away from me. It was a trend I wanted to continue until I didn’t have to see him anymore. The Devil’s Tattoo and The Stabs would never be on the same bill again if I had anything to dowithit.

Dee and Frank appeared beside me, looking like they were ready to go. Chris had left with Simone a while ago—at least something had worked out forsomeone.

“Zoe?” Dee was looking at me, a frown creasinghisbrow.

I looked at Frank, and he shrugged, goingoutside.

“Zoe?” Dee asked again, and this time, I looked him intheeye.

“What?”

“You love him,don’tyou?”

“Loved.” I almost choked on the word. I had loved him, but I couldn’t live with that kind of hurt again. “The emphasis being on the pasttense.”

“I don’tbelieveyou.”

“Well, I believe me,” I said, shoving through the stage door.Conversationover.

It was a short walk to the bar we’d agreed on going to. The last gig of the tour was over, and this was meant to be a party to celebrate. Ninety-nine percent of our shows had sold out, our merchandise was down to zero, and album sales were up. We should be happy. The band was going crazy, but I couldn’t feelanything.

Dee walked with me, his arm around mywaist.

“You don’t have to baby me,” I said, shrugging him off and jamming my hands into mypockets.

“Zo.”

“You should be celebrating with theothers.”

“I want you here,” he said. “You’re a part of this too, and if that means I have to take care of you, then sobeit.”

We stood out front of Ding Dong Lounge, our bar of choice, and hehuggedme.