Page 48 of The Fire Walker
Dee
Rolling over with a groan,I cursed the bottle of scotch I’d devoured the nightbefore
It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now I was paying for it. My head throbbed, and my mouth tasted like something had died in it. I hadn’t had a hangover in a long time, and now I remembered why I was usually socareful.
A nagging feeling inside me was saying something happened last night. More than getting drunk. My head was in that foggy in between place, half in sleep and half in my impending hangover. Clawing my way out of the scratchy polyester quilt, I put my feet on the floor, and for the first time since Jessie had ditched me, I got up and started to pull it the helltogether.
Getting in the shower was the first step, and then I needed to shave this crap off my face, get in the car, and find my way to Nashville. It seemed like the promised land, and if I managed to get there, then I hoped things would getbetter.
Music was the only thing I could count on to save me. I had to believe it because I couldn’t believe in anything else right now. The human race had let me down big-time.
As the water pounded onto my skin, washing away the stench of alcohol, my mind wandered back to the night before. Had Jessie really been here? She’d turned up at my door, and I’d just lost it and kissed her. My tongue against hers, my hands in her hair, her perfect brown eyes. Running my fingers across my lips, I remembered what that felt like. Remembered what it was to be consumed. She was still in there, lodged in my heart, and I wanted herout.
Shit, that scotch really did a number on me. Did I get so drunk that I hallucinated her? Fucking hell. How would she even be able to find me? The moment I thought it, Zoe’s face flashed in my mind.FuckingZoe.
Dragging my sorry ass out of the shower, I cleaned myself up, shaving and getting dressed. I had to focus on the task at hand because if I didn’t, then I would be focusing on someoneelse.
Packing my bag and sliding my sunglasses on, I downed a glass of water before opening the door and walking out into the cool morning. The fresh air hit my face, and it was oddlysoothing.
What I didn’t expect was to find Jessie sitting on the bonnet of the car, and my heart did this stupid flip-flop thing. So, not an alcohol related hallucination after all. I felt a burning sensation at the thought of kissing her lastnight.
“I don’t have a way to get home,” she said, her gaze fixed onme.
“Not my problem.” I threw my stuff in the boot and slammed the back closed with a bang. Ignoring her, I went down to the office and dropped my key in the box. When I strode back, she was still standing there, her bag at her feet, hands shoved in her pockets. I looked her over, and I didn’t have it in me to abandon her in the middle ofnowhere.
Grimacing, I said, “Get in before I change my mind.” I slid into the driver’s seat and waited as she scrambled to throw her bag in the back. When she got in the front, it was in a cloud of vanilla perfume, and I closed my eyes trying to filter itout.
Reversing out of the car park and pulling out onto the road, my jaw was tense. All that carefully placed facade and dream of going to Nashville was totally blown to smithereens. It was so blown it was splatteredeverywhere.
Thinking about which way I was going now wasn’t much of an option. I’d looked at the map the night before to see where shit was. To get to New York, I would have to go through Kansas City, then St Louis. I would take her that far then figure out the restlater.
After a while of driving in complete silence, Jessie finally spoke, “Where are wegoing?”
“I’m taking you home,” I repliedbluntly.
“What, all the way toBrooklyn?”
“I was going that way, anyway. May as well get there a littlefaster.”
“Do you even know how long it will take to drive to New York fromhere?”
I shrugged. “I’ve driven to Perth andback.”
“Somehow, I don’t think that’s thesame.”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s the same. A long, boring trip full ofnothing.”
She visibly flinched, but I didn’t take my eyes off theroad.
“Why don’t you just put me on a plane?” she asked, her voicethin.
I didn’t have an answer for that. Maybe I wanted to see if she was actually sorry. That she felt bad for what she did. But maybe I just didn’t want to give her themoney.
Even if I did have an answer, I didn’t bother replying, plugging in my iPod and turning up the stereo instead. If I couldn’t hear her, then she wasn’t really there. So fuckingchildish.
She lasted three songs before she pulled out the iPod and stuffed it in the glove box. I scowled but didn’t take my eyes off the road. She wanted a reaction, and I didn’t want to give it toher.
“When I was a teenager, I was angry all the time.” She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “I acted out, fought with my parents, snuck out at night, got drunk at school. I was a bad egg. I was expelled twice, but somehow, I managed to graduate. The same night, I packed a bag anddisappeared.”
