Page 54 of The Fire Walker
“What did she tellyou?”
“You know it’s not my place to blab things she said to me in confidence. It doesn’t work thatway.”
I grunted. Of course, I knew it. When she and Will were screwed up, she would’ve throttled me if I’d spilled. Jessie needed to tell me on her own terms, but the fact was, I knew she wouldn’t. She’d made that clear when sheran.
“So she’s road tripping withyou?”
“I couldn’t leave her in the middle ofbuttfucknowhere.” I rubbed myeyes.
“Of course, youwouldn’t.”
“’Cos I’m a fucking goodguy.”
“It’s not a bad thing, Dee. How many times do I have to tell you?” she scoldedme.
“I’ve got a pretty thickskull.”
“So thick, I wonder if there’s even a brain inthere.”
Despite myself, I laughed at her stupidjoke.
“Has she talked to you about ityet?”
“No. I wasn’t exactly thrilled to see her,Zo.”
“I hope you weren’t anass.”
“I was a big fucking ass. She won’t talk to me,anyway.”
“If she won’t tell you, maybe you shouldask.”
“Maybe I don’t wannaknow.”
Zoe was silent for a while, and then she came out with the mother of all questions. “Do you have feelings forher?”
“I don’t know,” I replied truthfully. Back in LA, I would’ve said yes without blinking. Now I wasn’t so sure the thing that was churning inside me was love, hate, or something inbetween.
“Maybe you should talk to her and figure itout.”
“Talk to her about what?” I scoffed. “I don’t want to talk about thatthing.” I didn’t know what else to callit.
Zoe laughed. “You don’t have to have a deep and meaningful. Start again. Get to know her beyond the Jessie you met in LA. I’m not saying you should forgive her or start a relationship or anything. I mean you should try to get to know her as a person first. Find out what makes her tick. Then you might understand why she did what shedid.”
Zoe was so smart sometimes it made me feel inadequate. I told her as much, and shelaughed.
“You know I’m the brains of this operation, DeeDee.”
“All the way,” I said, lying back on the bed. “Thanks,Zo.”
“Feel a littlebetter?”
“Yeah, but I wish you didn’t go in person. I mean, it fucked up yourtrip.”
“It didn’t screw it up,” she reassured me. “We’re doing the same thing, justbackward.”
“You’re too good for me,Zo.”
“We’re perfect for eachother.”
