Page 82 of The Fire Walker
Dee
Collapsing into a chair,my stomach stung from the tattoo I’d gotten an hour or so before, the plastic it had been wrapped up in crinkling. Numb. I just feltnumb.
Seriously, what were you meant to feel when you saw your girlfriend roll across the bonnet of a car? Or when you held her broken body in your hands? How about when you saw her being rolled away on a gurney, not knowing if you would ever see her again? I would really like toknow.
My whole body shook, and my skin began to prickle with sweat. Knowing I was gonna blow, I ran for the bathroom, just making it in time to heave my guts up in the toilet bowl. What if she fuckingdied?
Trembling, I leaned over the basin, washed out my mouth, and splashed water on my face to cool myself down. Looking at my hands, I didn’t realize my skin was spotted with her blood, and my guts squirmed again. Turning the tap back on, I scrubbed them clean, sucking in deepbreaths.
I was on my own again. Instantly, I thought about Zoe, and I fumbled for my phone, almost dropping it I was shaking so badly. Zoe would help me. I pressed her name and waited to hear hervoice.
“Hey,” she said brightly when she pickedup.
“Where are you?” Iblurted.
“We’re in Jacksonville,” she said. “Florida. Since we had an impromptu stop in New York, we’re doing our tripbackward.”
“Zoe, do you think… could you…” I was beginning tocrack.
“Dee?” she asked, her voice concerned. “What’shappened?”
“There was an accident,” I muttered, trying to hold back tears, my tough guy persona totally disappearing out thewindow.
“Fucking hell. Are you okay?Jessie?”
“She was hit by a car. I went to get her from work, and she was hit by a car.” It wasn’t any use holding it in now, and a sob escaped mythroat.
“Where areyou?”
“In the hospital. She’s in surgery. I don’t know what’s going tohappen.”
“We’re on the next flight, Dee. Tell me where you’reat.”
“New York Presbyterian. LowerManhattan.”
“I’ll call you when we land,okay?”
“Okay.”
The call disconnected, and I let my hand fall limply to my side. I’d never needed my best friend more than I did now. I could handle it with Zoe by my side to help. Closing my eyes, all I could see was Jessie’s broken body on the asphalt. Blood, the way her eyes had unfocused… I’d thought she was dead. Gone. Tears began to slide down my face, and I brushed themaway.
I would’ve done anything to keep her safe, to help her through this, but it was out of my hands now. I had to trust the doctors. I’d done all Icould.
I think I sat in the waiting room for hours before someone actually came to see me. You would see this all the time in movies and television shows, but it was never the same. There aren’t any cut scenes. I remembered sitting in the Royal Melbourne Hospital when Zoe was getting her arm fixed, waiting to see her when she got out. That was just shoving a pin in an arm, no less risky, but this time, it was a little more life and death. The clock ticked ten times slower, every second grating against my heart, every fear and doubt running through my mind. I still had her blood on myjeans.
“Mr.Cosgrove?”
I looked up into the face of the doctor I’d spoken to before. I was kinda surprised it was him and not a nurse or an intern like I’d beenexpecting.
Stumbling to my feet, I blurted, “Is sheokay?”
“She’s through the worst of it,” he said with a kind smile. He probably knew how to deal with emotional wrecks like me. “The surgeons are finishing up, but it will still be some time before she’s moved to a room so you can seeher.”
The tension started to bleed from my limbs, and my knees felt like jelly. “Okay. I’llwait.”
“There’s still some chance of complications. We’ll monitor her closely, but at the moment, things are lookingoptimistic.”
“Okay.” I didn’t know what else tosay.
