Page 34 of Ignite
“I put a stop to it,” Faye said quickly, reading the changing emotions that were writhing all over myface.
“When?” I hardly dared toask.
“A few days ago as soon as I realized you were intohim.”
A few days ago? He’d been with her after we’d spent the night together? A wave of nausea hit me square in thechest.
I sat up straight, my jaw tensing. “Maybe I’m overreacting…but…”
“It was nothing,” Faye said. “We’ve been hanging out for months. It’s never beenserious.”
“You knew I was struggling with him,” I went on. “I confided in you, and you werestill…”
I felt sick. Was I making too much out of this? I didn’t know. Liam and I had never been together, and I wasn’t a fool enough to think he hadn’t slept with anyone else, but knowing Faye had been with him before and after I had stung. Was there such a thing as girl code? Or was it only a starry-eyed notion dreamed up as a plot device in themovies?
“I didn’t know it was serious between you,” Faye said fretfully. “Ali,please!”
I shook my head. “He slept with me and left right after. He knew I…he had to know. He broke my heart and didn’t give a shit. He made it clear it was only a one-time thing, and I…” I covered my face with my hands as tears started to spill down my cheeks. “I’m such an idiot. I should never have gone to TheUnderground.”
“He slept with you?” Faye gasped. “I warned him. I warned him to stop fooling around with me if there was something else going on. I warned him, and he didn’tlisten.”
“Then maybe you should’ve said no!” Iexclaimed.
“I didn’t know you had feelings for him,” she cried. “I thought it was all him. Liam and I were never serious, Ali. It was only evercasual.”
“Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t believe in casual.” I shook my head. “I tried, but I couldn’t hackit.”
“No, it’s not,” Faye said, agreeing with me. “There’s nothing wrong withthat.”
“Please leave,” I muttered, fighting back tears. My throat burned, and my fingers were turning numb. All I wanted to do was curl up and cry. Everything was so messed up, and I couldn’t see a way out. I was floundering before, but now I wasdrowning.
“Ali…”
“Pleaseleave.”
Faye rose to her feet and edged around the couch. I couldn’t even look at her. It was no one’s fault, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. Liam was clear, Faye was clear…I was the one who’d been keeping my feelings bottled up. I thought I’d been doing the rightthing.
The door opened and closed, signaling Faye had gone, and stillness enveloped the little space that was my apartment. It felt a great deal like square one, and I curled up on the couch, struggling to hold back a wave of sobs that were caught in mythroat.
What was wrong with me? There had to be something I was doing wrong or something I was oblivious to. What was so wrong with me that I was being used over andover?
Maybe this was it. I wasn’t meant to find someone, my ‘other half.’ Maybe I was whole to begin with, and my longing was futile and pointless. Maybe I just had to come to terms with the fact that this was my life. No family, no friends, no hope,nothing.
The first tear fell, and after that, I waslost.
15
Liam
Afew days passed,and tensions were rising with Viper and hiscronies.
Everywhere I went at The Underground, I was watched, fighters waiting for any more vulnerabilities to manifest. Luckily, Ali didn’t comeback.
It was better she kept away until after the fight with Viper, but if I was being completely honest, it was better if she didn’t come back at all. I’d been saying it allalong.
“Hey.”
I glanced up from my spot on a bench in the change rooms as Rebel sat besideme.
