Page 41 of Ignite
Alison
Iwasn’tsurprised.
When I realized Liam had left sometime between me falling asleep in his arms and waking, I just sighed. There was nothing I could do if he didn’t want to listen, but it still stung. My heart was broken beyond compare, causing my entire body to numb to the familiar sensation ofloneliness.
I could still feel Liam’s touch—my body ached with it—and his scent clung to my skin, both painful reminders that he was gone. If I turned, I would see the evidence that he had been here. Rumpled sheets and clothing were strewn across my usually spotlessfloor.
He’d fucked me hard, just how I liked it, and I knew I would be feeling him for days. It was almost cruel in away.
No thoughts, no memories, no hopes, and no dreams could erase the fact I wasalone.
I knew this beast and how to wrangle it. I’d been coping since I was sixteen, after all. Nothing was better than something, so I chose to feelnothing.
Friday passed in a haze. I didn’t leave my apartment, deciding to stay in and search job websites instead of going outside into the fresh air. This was what my life had amountedto.
When I looked out my bedroom window on Saturday morning?, all I could hear was the sounds of the city waking up. Children were laughing and playing in the yard over the fence, a tram rumbled by on the street, and a car horn blasted somewhere in the distance. The city was only half awake, mirroring the muted beating of my repressedheart. ?????
The whole world was out there, waiting to be explored, waiting for me to reach out and grab it—just like Liam had told me to do—but all I saw waspain.
Turning away from the window, I stared at the contents of my bedroom. An unbearable burst of passion overcame me in the face of everything that was staring me down, and I strode forward. Sliding open the closet door, I began pulling out clothes, shoes, and boxes, tossing everything that was worn or frumpy into a pile. When I came to the clothes Faye had helped me pick, I left them on their hangers, my fingers caressing the material. There was a marked difference in quality, and even though they reminded me of her and Liam, I didn’t have the heart to throw them away with therest.
I’d cleaned out my bedroom, lounge, and bathroom and was halfway through the kitchen when there was a knock at the door. Glancing up, I realized the sun had gone down somewhere between the bathroom and the third kitchen cupboard. Getting rid of stuff was a real stressreliever.
Opening the door, I squashed down the misplaced hope that Liam was on the other side waiting to apologize and make all my dreams come true. When my gaze met Faye’s, I wasn’t sure what todo.
“Ali…” She peered at me through the security door, looking hopeful…and beautiful while she didit.
I didn’t say anything because if I opened my mouth, I would burst into tears. The only thing that had stopped me from falling apart was the violent clean-out of all my earthlypossessions.
“I’m sorry,” she said, looking like she was about to cry as well. What a pair wemade.
Did I have a right to be angry with her? I wasn’t sure I did. Even though her actions had hurt me deeply, I hadn’t been forthcoming with my feelings, either. There was no way she knew I was in love with Liam because I hadn’t told anyone. Until recently, I hadn’t actually admitted to myself that ‘falling for’ actually meant something much deeper was going on. Not until rightnow.
The fact Faye was here at all made the numbness around my heart thaw a little, and I reached out and unlocked the securitydoor.
Her eyes sparkled as she opened it, letting herselfin.
“I’m really sorry, Ali,” she said again. “You’ve been a real friend these past few months, and I would hate to stuff that up over a guy. True friends are hard to comeby…”
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Theyare.”
“Can we still be friends?” she asked. “I want to make thingsright…”
I let out a shaky breath and smiled. “I’d like that. Alot.”
Faye grinned, wiping a tear from her cheek. “Thank fuck! I felt terrible about itall…”
“I need to learn how to talk to people,” I said absently. “I’ve been alone for so long I think I’ve forgottenhow.”
“I’ll help, you know. I’ll bug you every day.” She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. “I’m sohappy!”
Wriggling out of her grasp, I led her through to the lounge where I’d been piling up the casualties of my spring-cleaning.
“What’s with all the garbage bags?” she asked, stepping overthem.
“I’m cleaning,” I replied, shoving more clothes into an already burstingbag.
“You’re throwing away all yourstuff…”
