Page 13 of A Cock and Bull Story
“Lucy is a lovely name,” Elise compliments and I blow her a kiss of thanks.
“But what name should I choose?” Jude ponders seriously.
I shrug.
“I don’t know—I’ve never seen your cock.”
“Cockchafer,” he corrects in a strangled voice, making Arthur blush and Jack laugh uproariously.
“Careful, love, or else Jude’s going to think you want a look at his parsnip.”
I roll my eyes.
Only the British would use a bulbous root plant as an innuendo for dick.
“If you want my input, I’m going to have to see you naked.”
“Ooooo, you can name my tit if I can get starkers!” Sian sings.
“I’ll totally name your tit. . .and your boob!” I grin at Elise, my mouth watering at the thought of seeing her rack.
“This isn’t a bloody orgy!” Jude bursts out, making me pout.
“Spoilsport,” I mutter. “Well, are you going to show me or not?”
“I will,” Jack volunteers. “I’ll let you name my ass.”
He stands up with this announcement, and I can’t help but lean around and check out his denim-clad butt—I’m not drooling, you are.
“Are you late for something?” I drawl.
“Er. . . no, I don’t think so. Why?” Jack asks in confusion.
“Because your ass hasfinewritten all. . .hmm. . . I don’t think that’s how it goes—my pick-up lines need work. Usually, I just ask if you’re DTF, ya know?”
Jack just shakes his head and chuckles.
“No, Belle, I don’t know. Come on,” he directs.
“Where are we going?”
“I’m going to show you my ass, but only to you.”
“Booooo!” Sian and Elise jeer, making me giggle.
“I’ll tell you all about it,” I promise them with a wink as I scurry to catch up with Jack.
We leave the basement to the first floor, but Jack keeps climbing the stairs until we’re all the way to the top. In front of us is a closet; to the left is the choir loft and to the right is the bell tower.
“I’ll, uh, go undress in there,” he says, hitching a thumb toward the choir loft.
“What?!” I exclaim. “Why?”
Jack squints at me in confusion.
“I’ll ruin my clothes if I don’t take them off first. . .” he trails off, giving me alook.
“Oh—I see! Here, let me take them off for you so you don’t tear them,” I offer with a wink.
