Page 53 of A Cock and Bull Story
I sweep her into a fierce hug and kiss the top of her colorful head.
I hate the danger our little Yank is in, but I thank God every day that she, somehow, stumbled into our lives.
And I’ll do anything to protect this sweet summer child—even at the cost of my own life.
Humans can turn into animals—who would’ve thunk?
Certainlynotme.
I'm just a sex addict who was looking to get cured.
Instead, I stumbled upon a deadly secret, and Istillwant to fuck everyone.
The car ride back to Oxford is silent as we head south toward the university. Inside, I’m packed in with Jack and Arthur again—Theo and Jude took Jude's car. The very air within the speeding vehicle feels charged with tension.
Clearly, I have a target on my back.
I just hope that Jude is right, and once I get back to the States, everything will go back to normal. I mean, what happens if this boss-man does send people—animals. . .whatever—over the ocean after me?
What then?!
What happens if they send a bee to track me?
I'm allergic to bees—I'll die if the little bastard stings me!
Or what happens if Shifter Boss sends an octopus, and it strangles me to death with its eight arms while I'm in the bathtub?!
Great.
Now I'm afraid of bathing and octopuses—and here I thought they were awesome because the males could take off their dicks and throw them at the women.
Wouldn't that be great?!
It would just be raining dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, but it's not raining dick in my world—it's raining shit scenarios.
This is worse than when my folks told me about the birds and the bees—that was just awkward. Now, I’m legit afraid of birds and bees. Who knows which ones are humans in disguise. And who knows which ones might be after me!
Probably the most disappointing thing of all is that I'm not going to walk out of here with my scholarship.
Ok, maybe it’s the fact that I didn’t get to bang Jude, Theo, Sian, and Elise—let’s just agree there’s a lot of disappointment going around.
Being an Oxford grad was going to be big for me, though. And, as much as I tell myself that the university was going to take away my scholarship from me because of my slutty sexcapades, I don't know that for a fact. I could have rode out my skankiness for another two years and left here with a degreeandbeing the first person to sleep with the entire student body.
Hashtag life goals.
Well, maybe I'll be able to do some online courses under a fake name when I get home. . . it just seems like such a waste.
Of course, my life is more important—but there's no guarantee that once they get home that I'll be safe!
I don't say any of this out loud, Jack and Arthur look like they have enough to worry about—not to mention Theo. That man needs his eyes checked.
If you can't tell a Sphinx cat from a well-shaved vagina—you're not getting laid enough.
When we get back to campus, we book it to my apartment building, passing campus security. Apparently, they're searching around for a runaway donkey. . . this makes Jack laugh uproariously. I half-wave at the two guards—who just give me a look.
They’re probably wondering if I'm going to tie up the new men with me.
Did I mention that Jack and Arthur are still in various states of disarray?
