Page 21 of Riding A Cock-Horse
Like where I'm wearing leather and he needs a safety word.
“Da!” Arthur exclaims, “I didn't say she was my girlfriend.”
“Well, good, because she looks like she'shisgirlfriend.”
I realize that Arthur's dad thinks this because I was holding Jack's hand and quickly rectify the situation.
“No, sir, you have itallwrong—I like your son's dickandJack’s. Er, I mean, I like all dicks—not your dick, though!Ugh, sorry, that sounded bad. I'm sure your dick is great, but I think that would make things awkward. What I really meant to say was we're all good friends, and we all like each other.”
“Wow,” Jack murmurs under his breath.
“Wow,” Arthur echoes.
I sigh.
“Didn’t quite stick the landing on that one, did I?”
“No,” Jack laughs. “Not at all.”
“Let's start over, Mr. Arthur's dad. I'm Belle,” I greet, sticking out my hand.
Arthur's dad never loses his solemn look, but there's a twinkle in his eye as he steps forward to shake my hand.
“I'm Phineas. Nice to meet you.”
I smile, relieved the guy’s willing to overlook my social faux pas. Also, his name is Phineas, which makes me think that he might have a platypus named Perry hidden somewhere, making me love the man even more.
“Arthur tells me you're in a right bit of trouble.” I shrug in answer to him.That’s putting it mildly.“Why don't you come inside? The clan elders have all gathered and we're here to listen about what's going on.”
I nod, wondering if it's safe for me to speak after what just happened.
Clearly, Phineas thinks the same thing because he whispers to Arthur, “It might be best if you explain.”
The three men lead me inside where a group of elderly Scotsman have gathered. There's five of them in total, and they remind me more of hobbits—and one of them is definitely trending on the Gollum end.His skin is almost like leather, and it's bumped up with warts.
“What's going on with him?” I whisper to Arthur.
“Oh, that's just Graham. He's going to die soon.”
Arthur says this so nonchalantly my mind barely comprehends his words. When I do, I skid to a stop and just stare at him.
“What did you say?”
Arthur halts and comes back to me.
“Sorry, love, sometimes I forget you're not one of us. So, we're born our animal and we die as our animal. As we get closer to that death, our body slowly shifts back into our first form. And then…”
“And then?” I prompt.
Arthur shrugs.
“And then you croak.”
“Is that a horny toad joke?!” I demand, not amused.
Arthur bites his lip but Jack and Phineas are openly smiling now.
“That's not funny,” I grouse, pushing past them. I walk up to the five men. “Hi, I'm Belle, nice to meet you.”
