Page 26 of Riding A Cock-Horse
Aside from that fact, it's hard to find anything positive about the situation.
“How do I get rid of it?” I whisper, hoping not to agitate the deadly thing.
“You've got to shift back into your human form completely, lass,” Phineas tells me.
“I don't know how to do that.”
Everyone facing me cringes, giving me very little hope that the situation is going to get any better any time soon. Thankfully, there’s Jude—beautiful, pragmatic, stalwart Jude—who comes to my aid.
“You're just going to have to learn how to shift and control it.”
I nod at his sensible answer that sounds easier said than done.
“Right, I can do that—tell me what I need to do.”
He pauses and looks around to the others, a little helpless. They give him the same look in return as if they cannot verbalize how to shift. Albeit depressing, Idoget it.
If you've been doing something your entire life, how would you explain to somebody how to do it?
How would you explain to somebody how to breathe—take in big puffs of air and puff them back out?
It's just something innately that you do. It's not something I've ever thought to explain to another person. I mean, you can puff the air in and out—doesn't mean that the oxygen is getting to the lungs. You can tell me how to shift, but it doesn't mean that I’ll be able to do it. Still, a gal’s gotta try because my other option is to walk around spliced—and spliced isnotmy jam. I think this is one of the few times I would’ve taken the goat instead of the black mamba. Buuuuuuuut, if I ever get this splicing shit down, I can do badass things like splice just a lion head but leave the rest of me human. You know, like a mermaid. Sort of. Where mermaids are half-fish and half-human—I'm half-lion and half-human—but thetophalf of me is the lion.
O.M.G.
I'm like the progressive commercials where the guy is half motorcycle, half human!
I'll never laugh again when I see those on TV; I'm also going to have to switch my loyalties to Geico now.
We half breeds have to stick together.
“Are you thinking about shifting?” Arthur prompts.
“No, I'm thinking about car insurance,” I answer truthfully, making Jack laugh.
“Focus, love. This is pretty important.”
“Well, I'm waiting for the instructions!” I snap right back before quickly quieting my voice. “Oops! Do you think it's upset?”
I peek behind me to see my snake is still coiled docilely against the small of my back, but it has an eye open—and it's trained on me.Taking a deep shuddering breath, I give it the same look right back. The beast needs to know who’s the alpha between us.
Between you and me… it's the snake, but we don't want the snake to know that.
I turn away before it can call my bluff.
“All right, tell me how I can become fully human again. It's going to be pretty hard to hit on someone with a snake coming out my back end.”
Phineas looks confused.
“Why’s the lass going to hit someone?”
“Obviously because of what they did to her!” his brother, the laird, supplies.
“No—‘hit on’ means to… ah, wow. I’ve never had to define this. To express your sexual interest in someone?”
“She means ‘to tell someone that she fancies them’,” Jack explains before turning to frown at me. “Why would you need to be “hitting on” anyone else?!”
I snort at his possessive tone.
