Page 4 of Riding A Cock-Horse
“What was that?!” I demand again, only louder.
Arthur, my sweet bookworm, steps forward.
“That was…a chimera.”
“A who now? A what now? A chi-what?”
“A chimera,” he repeats. “It's an animal with the head of a lion, the tail of a snake, and a goat head on the back. It's an animal from Greek mythology.”
“No, no, no,” I refute, throwing up a hand. “That's not possible because I wanted to be a unicorn, and Dean Prick told me I couldn’t because unicorns aren't real. So, how can I be a Greekmythologicalanimal if I couldn’t be aunicorn?”
I mean, what kind of fresh hell is this?!
That asshat—I meanarsehat—makes fun of me for wanting to be a unicorn or even a dinosaur because they're extinct, but then he turns me into this crap?!Oh, man.Dean Stiffdick is going to get it, and I want it to go on the record that I think this isallhorseshit. “Dean Hardwick told me that I couldn't be a mythological creature,” I pout.
“Yes, I see where he's coming from,” Arthur says, “but this is different—a lion, goat, and snake are living animals. This is more like—”
“Cloning and graphing,” Jude finishes for him. “The dean and his scientist are splicing together animal cells to create something new.”
“Oh, God—then it's worse than I imagined! I'm their guinea pig for monsters. Oh, why couldn't they have combined me into something way cooler? I’m terrified of snakes!”
“And yours is a real doozy,” Arthur comments.
“What's that mean?!”
“It's a black mamba—it’s considered the deadliest snake in the world.”
“Oh my God—I can't feel my tail! It's not attached to me even though it's attached to me. What happens if it bites me or somebody else?! Is there any antivenom? We need to go get antivenom!”
“It did look a little out of hand,” Sian notes.
“Thanks,” I deadpan. “Maybe we can just cut it off?”
The rest of them look at me like I just said the craziest thing.
“What? Is that like cutting off my arm in human form?”
“Do you know why you shifted back to a human?” Jack says.
“Well, I rolled on my back and twisted the goat's head. Goatee didn’t like that much—it hurteverywhere!” I respond, remembering the excruciating pain.
Jack nods.
“Yeah, the pain is what shifted you back to being human. Can you imagine what cutting off your snake tail would be like?”
“Oh!” I gasp. “The pain would be…I can’t even. But on the bright side, I might never shift again! I’d turn back to a human and probably be so traumatized. Huh, well, things to think about. At least I’ve got options—terrifying options. Well, listen, I don't feel any urge to shift. Let's get off this boat. Where are my clothes?”
“Erm. . .” Elise mumbles, pointing to a bunch of scraps. “You shifted out of them—that's why we takeoffour clothes.”
God damn it, I have to swim in the freaking river naked. Well, fuck it. I've streaked through enough campuses that this shouldn't bother me. I stand up, and everyone gets an eyeful of my goods. I smirk at them.
“Don't act like you're not impressed.”
The others look away but Jack sends me a wink—he gets me.
“Here,” Jude directs, walking over to the dresser in the cabin and pilfering whoever’s clothes. “Put this on,” he directs me. “Grab extras,” he orders Theo. “Let's get the hell out of here.”
This last bit is said to us all. Jude wrenches open the door and marches out. Jack follows, then Arthur. Sian and Elise each take one of my elbows, and Theo takes the rear. We walk over to the side of the boat, and I realize we're quite a ways up. It's not really a boat as much as it's a motherfucking ship—and they want me to jump off of it.
