Page 59 of Riding A Cock-Horse
“Yes, but we'venamedhim Gryffon.”
Dr. Fuckface looks confused.
“You named the griffin ‘Griffin’?”
“Yeah, it makes sense, right?” I continue. “But call him Gryff for short. Super cute, huh? And instead of spelling it like griffin, we're going to spell it G-r-y-f-f-o-n.”
Dr. Fuckface clamps a hand over his ears.
“Enough!” he roars. “I don't want to hear your stupid Yank muttering anymore!”
I cross my arms in affront.
“Rude!” I huff.
Why does everything have to be an American insult?
Like I ramblebecauseI'm American. I know plenty of British people that ramble... I just can't name any right now.
“We're taking the baby.”
This comes from the dire wolf, and I almost shit myself.Dean Stiff Dick can talk when he’s an animal.Correction—thisis my worst nightmare.
“I’ll also be taking all the pregnant women, too. Oh, and you, Belle.”
At this, Nestor jumps before me.
“No, you’re not! No one lays a finger on my mate!”
“Yeah—I’m like his Butterfinger Bitch!” I tack on.
The doctor steps forward, his hands spread wide in supplication.
“There’s no need for us to be enemies,” he murmurs to Nestor, completely ignoring me and my Yank ramblings. I snort.
“Um, yes, thereisa need for us to be enemies becauseyou'rea dick who wants to fuck everyone over.”
The fuckstick continues to pointedly ignore me, directing his attention only at Nestor.
“Our kind can come together and be superior as we were meant to be.”
“Don't listen to him, Nestor,” I whisper from the corner of my mouth. “It's a trap!”
“Would you shut the fuck up!” the doctor snaps, and I step around Nestor to get in his face.
It's then that I see in his hand the familiar glint of a syringe full of fuck-knows-what liquid. I screech and stumble back. My panic triggers Nestor, and he shifts to defend me—but a sea creature the size of Nessie shouldn't shift on land. He's immediately beached, and I'm concerned his lungs will compress and he'll die.
In the ensuing confusion, Dean Stiffdick takes advantage by grabbing my arm and bodily tossing me up onto his back before running off. He's going so fast that I'm scared if I fall, I'll break every bone in my body. I cling onto the monster for dear life. Before I know it, I'm back at the shore, being led aboard another boat to be spirited away to fuck knows where. A screeching caw sounds in the air as a giant bird drops down from the sky. It might be a hawk or condor—I don’t know, I’m not an animal expert—and it shifts into Dr. Fuckface.
Ugh.
How dare he be something so badass.
The jerk deserves to be nothing more than a maggot.
Beside him, Dean Hardwick has shifted, too, and I realize I'm alone on a boat with two naked assholes who want to breed me.
This is just not my semester.
