Page 42 of Monsters in My Bed
I fell into a vortex that made me feel like I was chained to the bottom of a lake. My vision was blurred, and my hearing was warped. I couldn’t tell down from up, or even if I was breathing.
My name was first on that list.Serafina Adler.
The screen flashed once more, and after years of reading it, I knew what the words would say by heart without even looking at it.
“Report to the loading zone at the Citadel within the next four hours. Bring nothing with you. If you do not report on time, your family will be subject to the defector clause of the treaty.”
Basically, if you defected and ran, your family would be killed. Not much of a choice there, unless you were a heartless piece of shit…and there had been a few of those over the years that the government had made examples of. It wasn’t an idle threat. Those who defected were eventually found and forced to watch their family members be tortured and executed—before they sent you down anyway. If you didn’t have any family, they would still find you and send you to The Below.
There was no escape.
Hot tears streamed down my face as I began to openly sob, cradling Gizmo to me and burying my face in his fur. My worst fear had come true, and so close to the date that marked my freedom, which made it hurt so much more. I’d allowed myself to hope and to dream of my future, and now I wouldn’t have one.
I wailed so loudly my neighbors could no doubt hear the utter heartbreak and despair that fractured my mind. Falling onto the floor, I held Gizmo tightly to me, willing myself to wake up from this terrible nightmare.
Two days and I would have been free.
My sobs eventually quieted after my body had nothing left to give, and reality set in through the haze. This was my new life, and nothing could change it. A blissful numbness settled over my mind and heart as I let Gizmo go and pushed myself to stand, implementing my plan in a robotic trance.
Every woman was told to have a plan in place to expedite the process if you were “lucky” enough to be chosen, so my affairs were already in order. My family would take Gizmo for me and look after him. I even had a stipulation that I thought had been funny at the time, back when I liked to think it would never happen, that they were to feed Gizmo a single scoop of sugar-free vanilla ice cream every night before bed.
The landlord would know to clear out my belongings that my family didn’t take with them, and the home would be available for a new tenant by the end of the week. As if I’d never existed here. Just like that. Erased from society, never to return.
As I moved through my small yet cozy apartment, I faintly heard my phone ringing incessantly from the kitchen. I knew it was my parents calling, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer. Nothing could prepare you for this type of goodbye, one that had been permanent for every other woman before me.
What could I say that would make this easier on any of us? The answer was glaringly obvious—no words could help.
Reverting to autopilot, I walked to the kitchen and grabbed my phone to check how much time I had left. My wallowing had taken up two out of the four hours I had until I had to be at the Citadel.Damnit.I needed to be quick now.
I walked to my bedroom and pulled Gizmo’s carrier out of my closet, gathering all of his toys from the apartment and putting them inside with his favorite green blanket from my bed. It would give him some comfort with the smell of me and our home until it eventually faded, which hopefully wouldn’t happen until he had adjusted to life with my parents.
As I placed the crate onto the bed, my eyes caught on the floor-length mirror in the corner. Something in my broken gaze snapped me out of this pity party I was stuck in. My gray eyes looked dead. All the fight and spark gone. That wasn’t the Sera everyone knew. While I had censored myself enough to fly under the radar of our government and their workers, my family and close friends knew the determined and headstrong woman that I was.
I had no option but to go, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t fight tooth and nail to come back.
A pounding on my door startled me, my hand flying to my chest as I jumped. Walking towards the entrance, I called out, “Who is it? I’m busy.”
“Sera! Let us in right this instant, young lady!” my mom’s trill voice demanded, causing me to let out a heavy sigh.I guess this is happening now.
You could always count on your mother to make you feel like a scolded child, even as an adult, right?
I was surprised a hole didn’t burn into the white front door from how hard I stared at it, contemplating how to continue. I wanted to see my parents, I wanted to let them hold me and comfort me, telling me everything would be okay…but they couldn’t guarantee that this time. No one could.
“Don’t deny yourself or us this moment, darling,” my dad softly called. He had always understood my thought process and actions, even when my mom couldn’t wrap her head around it.
Swallowing the lump that had lodged itself in my throat, I unlocked the door and pulled it open. I didn’t have a second to breathe before my mom launched herself at me and wailed, “My baby. I can’t lose you, Sera,” as her arms wrapped around my waist and her face nuzzled into my neck, instantly getting it wet with her tears.
Biting my lower lip—hard—to focus on something other than my own emotions that wanted to well up again, I looked at my dad to try to get some assistance with Mom. But what I saw there broke me.
My dad was always the calm, cool, collected one of the family. The voice of reason who wasn’t quick to anger, and I could honestly say I had never seen the man cry. He was a glass-half-full kind of guy that managed to find the silver lining of every shit situation.
I guess if there was ever a moment for him to break down, it’d be when his only child was being sacrificed. There wasn’t a silver lining in sight to this clusterfuck.
His lower lip was quivering as his blue-gray eyes pooled with unshed tears.
“Oh, Dad,” I said, my voice cracking as he gave in and wrapped his arms around Mom and me, holding us so hard I knew he was imagining that he could protect us from everything.
He would do anything for us, but there was nothing any of us could do to prevent this from happening.
