Page 166 of Bred
"Feel me inside you?" he whispered, kissing the corners of my lips. "Feel my heart beat against your chest? You aren't alone." He rolled his hips, and I closed my eyes. “You aren’t alone.”
The feel of his big body covering mine calmed me like nothing else ever had. He pushed into me again, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, needing him closer.
"I love you, my sweet Lily. You are mine. Let me care for you."
He kissed me deeply as his cock slipped in and out of me. A sweet flutter in my belly grew, then twisted. Rowan's knot expanded, and the pressure inside me heightened. This wasn't the barrel of pleasure he gave me last night, but something sweeter. It was just wonderful but tender and lush. Rowan pushed his knot inside me with a muffled grunt, and a tingling orgasm washed over me. His cock pulsed as he emptied into me. I was warm. Loved.Safe.
The thought made me smile. This was my worst fear: trapped under a massive alpha with his cock stuffed deep inside me,and I felt safe.
"Are you okay?" Rowan pushed the hair out of my face, his thumb brushing over my temple.
"I thought you were going to hit me," I said honestly.
"I would never hit you." He lifted a bit onto his forearms, cradling my face. He looked so serious. "I thought about spanking you this morning when you lied to me, but I would never raise a hand to you in anger."
I looked down, not sure what to say.
"Lily." I looked up. His eyes were filled with fire, even though his voice was soft. "I understand you've always been nervous around alphas, but I'm your mate. It's my job to protect you, but I feel like I can't do that right now. The things floating around in your head are fucking killing me. Let me fix this."
As much as I hated remembering what happened, Rowan was right. He was my mate, and as long as I suffered, so would he. Every flashback or nightmare would travel to Rowan through our bond. I was hurting him by not telling him.
It felt a little awkward to have such a serious conversation with his cock still inside me, but I liked him so close. It somehow lessened the pain of reliving what had happened.
"When I was thirteen, Luca," I whispered, "Luca h-hurt me."
A soft growl pushed from Rowan's chest, but he didn't say anything. He simply flooded our bond with his love and protection, urging me to continue.
"I had just finished my first heat and wasn't supposed to go outside. My mother said I was to stay home while she and my dad went to the bakery. But I had been stuck in my nest for over a week and just wanted some fresh air. I didn't know that omega pheromones clung to you after a heat. That I needed to bathe before going anywhere. I...um…I…." Rowan's big hand smoothed over my hair, cupping my cheek. He looked at me with so much love.
My voice dropped to barely a whisper, "Luca was able to scent me, and he attacked me in the field behind the northern valley. We were all alone."
Every muscle in Rowan's massive body was tense with rage, but when he spoke, his voice was as gentle as his hands caressing the side of my face. "Did he violate you?"
Resting my hands on his shoulders, I stared at the scar along my wrist. "He tried. He tore my dress and slapped me when I fought back. He broke my wrist, and my screams alerted a nearby guard. He was able to restrain Luca, and they took me to the infirmary."
Unable to hold myself together any longer, my voice slipped into a high-pitched whine, "Everyone there said it was my fault," I sobbed. "That an omega should know better. Luca called me a wh-whore. My parents were so angry. Everyone was angry." Shame beat hard in my chest at the memory.
"It's not your fault," Rowan growled softly, holding me closer. "Weak alphas blame others when they can't control their beast. You did nothing wrong."
I cried while he purred and soothed me. Slowly, his knot went down, and he slipped out of me, allowing him to cradle me properly. His hands channeled through my hair, rubbing from my temples to the back of my neck.
"I was so ashamed," I whispered, trying to force myself to calm down. "Alpha Dage said it would be b-best to stay quiet. That not telling anyone what happened would keep my reputation intact. No one would want me if I told everyone how I tempted his son. So I stayed quiet."
"It wasn't your reputation he was worried about," Rowan said, his voice dangerously low. But his fingers were so light as he brushed the tears from my cheeks. I swallowed hard, embarrassed that I had never thought about how telling my secret might affect Luca. "I will fix this," Rowan said, and I jerked, fear making my head spin all over again.
"Please, Rowan," I begged, my words coming out in jittery pants. "D-don't do anything. I don't want to go through all this again. I c-can't."
Rowan quickly shushed me, caressing my back and kissing my hair. "I can't just let this go."
"Please," I sniffled, tears pouring freely once again. "Don't make me face him. If you attack him, everyone will force me to talk about it, and he'll say awful things about me, and, and—"
Rowan growled, his jaw clenched tight, and then he took a slow, deliberate breath. "Fine. But if that fucker so much as looks at you, I will fucking gut him. I will rip his entrails out and decorate the village square with his innards. I willneverlet him scare you again, Lily. You are mine, and he deserves to die for touching you."
I could feel the honesty in his words, both in his fierce eyes and through our bond. And for the first time, I realized that I was mated to a big, strong, scary alpha. I didn't need to be scared of anything. My mate would keep me safe.
My lips twitched in the corners as I tried to fight off a smile. "I wasn't yours at the time," I said, biting my bottom lip.
Rowan placed a finger under my chin, tipping my head up. "You have always been mine, Lily." He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear, his anger dimming a bit. "The first memory I have of you was when you were six years old. You were in the park, and your blue dress was covered in flour. The other kids were teasing you about it, calling you a bunch of bullshit names. You cried. Big fat tears falling down chubby cheeks." His thumb traced the motion. "I wanted to rip every child in that park to pieces. I was only ten years old and lusting for blood for a pretty girl in a blue dress. I knew right then and there you were mine."
