Page 172 of Bred
My gaze moved up to his face as I swallowed. The memory of how hard he made me come this afternoon still played out in my mind. "It's very good."
I had no idea if it was good.
"Lily," he said, his tone a little firmer, "it's my job to take care of you."
"And you've done a wonderful job." His lips were so tempting, his skillful tongue hidden behind them.
"I haven't," he said firmly. The desire gathering between my thighs died at his sharp tone. I didn't know what to say. How could he think he was anything but perfect?
Rowan sat the fork down. It clattered against the plate. "Is there a reason you don't want to tell me things? Have I done something that makes you think you can't be honest with me?" He watched my expression carefully. "What happened at the bakery?"
"My mother struggled for years to have pups," I blurted out, needing something to satisfy his curiosity. "She and my father tried for so long to have young. And this morning she asked me if we were trying. Then she left to make a delivery, and I started thinking. What if I can't have pups?" My voice dropped, struggling to look into his eyes. My words were honest but still a lie at the same time. "If I can't give you young, will you leave me?"
"Lily." He said my name so softly, pulling me to his firm chest. I nuzzled between his pecs, letting his cedar scent wash over me. "I will always want you no matter what."
"But what if it's passed on? What if I have the same problem my mom did, and I can't give you pups?"
It was all true. They were fears I had since I was young, and my mother told me stories of how I was her miracle baby. It was clear she believed they were sweet stories, meant to show how special I was to her, but they just scared me. After I presented as an omega, they scared me even more. Betas were still skilled and useful when they couldn't have young. Barren omegas had no purpose or meaning. We were meant to birth babies.
Rowan pulled back, placing his hand at the base of my throat. "If we never have pups, I will die buried in bliss at being able to spend my life with you. I wantyou, Lily. Not what you can give me. Just you." He bumped his nose to mine, kissing my lips softly. "If we have a dozen pups, I will thank the Moon for such a blessing. If we have one pup, I will spoil her rotten. If we have no pups, I'll be forced to spoilyourotten." He grinned, and I couldn't help but smile too.
"Her?" My chest warmed at his words, and my heart swelled with my growing love for my mate. "You think we'll have a girl?"
"I hope for a girl. One with your eyes and hair and sweet face and lovely temperament and kind heart."
"Will she have nothing of you?"
"If the Moon loves me, she will bless us with a pup that is all you. She won't force a poor youngin to look like this." He motioned at himself as if he wasn't the sexiest alpha in all of Madra.
I bit my bottom lip and shook my head. "You are ridiculous if you think you aren't a very impressive beast."
Leaning in, he pressed his mouth to mine, kissing me softly at first, then deepening it. His tongue moved possessively with mine, his big hand cupping my cheek. How did he always make me feel so loved and cherished?
He broke the kiss, channeling his fingers through my hair. "You keep too much inside you." He pressed a finger between my brows, easing the lines away. "You worry too much. I want to take the reason for these little lines away."
I sighed hard, wishing he could. "I know."
"No more battling your mind alone," he said a little firmer as if scolding me. But he wasn't. He was horrible at punishing me. "Let me care for you."
"I promise." I rested my chin against his chest, looking up at him. His dark eyes sparkled down at me. My words were true. I would be better at letting him protect me, but it was also my job to protect him. Even from Luca. "I'll let you care for me."
Rowan kissed my nose, then continued feeding me. My tummy was full and happy, a sleepy sensation washing over me. My mate collected the dirty dishes, setting them in the sink.
I twisted my hands together before finally deciding to ask the question that had been burning inside me all day. "Alpha?"
Rowan hummed in response.
"Is it hard to move up in the ranks as a guard?"
He turned, leaning against the counter. "It's not hard if you are willing to work for it. Why?"
I paused, trying to word my question just right so he wouldn't be suspicious. "If you wanted to be a member of the Pack Alpha's personal guard, would it take you long?"
He crossed his arms. "Why are you asking?"
"I heard the Pack Alpha had an opening and was looking to fill it. I was just curious how long something like that might take."
Rowan scratched at the scruff along his jaw. "It's hard to say. If Caz has an alpha with the training ready to slip into the role, it can be filled immediately. If he doesn't it can take months of trials and tests to find the right wolf. Are you wanting me to apply—"
