Page 49 of Bred
Grabbing my birth control pack, he takes one out and fills a cup of water before turning back to me. “Open.” He watches my lips automatically part for him. Placing the pill on my tongue he runs his fingers over my lips, down my chin, slowly. He wraps his large hand around my throat, gently holding me in place. The gesture brings out the submissive side of me I never knew I had. Immediately, I relax into his touch. Bringing the cup to my lips, he watches intensely as I swallow it down. I tilt my head questioningly but the hungry look in his eyes is clear.
“Good girl.” My eyes close at his praise and I barely contain a shudder from his intensity. Kissing me on the forehead, he steps back with a smirk and leaves the room to grab his clothes. “I need to do some things before our date tonight, I’ll pick you up at seven. Dress warm, temperatures are dropping with the winter storm moving in.” He says putting his boots on. A quick peck on the cheek and he’s out the door. Nerves flit through my stomach at the uncertainty of his behavior. A sense of foreboding comes over me watching him drive away.
The bright morning sky grows cloudy and dreary, growing darker as the storm moves in and the day passes by. A storm on the horizon like the one brewing between me and Holden. The winter chill seeps into the old cabin forcing me to keep piling on the wood in the fireplace as the temperature steadily drops.
The rest of the day I contemplate his moodiness while I’m packing up and cleaning the cabin. Maybe we need this separation, we basically skipped normal dating and early relationship stages, going straight to full on living together. Fuck, I screwed up. I completely got swept up by this man that I barely know all because I have a stalker. One that I haven’t even noticed or seen any problems from in the last two weeks.Huh. Weird.It doesn’t change the fact that I relied on Holden too much and now it could cost me my heart, all because we went too fast. Tonight needs to be the end for both of us until I’m done with school. Some space is what we need. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? If what we have is real and it’s meant to be, we’ll find our way back to one another.
As we eat, I blink back tears thinking of the amazing time we’ve had together and not wanting them to end. In three weeks, he’s shown me what it’s like to feel loved. Adored. Wanted. I’ve always secretly hoped that someone could look at me and see the real me down to my core. And with Holden, I’ve never felt more seen and heard.
Before I know it, our plates are cleared and the waitress tops our glasses off before disappearing all together. The air suddenly changes around us and I know it’s past time we talked about me leaving tomorrow.
“We’ve been dancing around a particular conversation tonight.” I say softly, gazing at the table cloth in front of me.
Clearing his throat, Holden gets up and kneels down beside me, taking my hand in his. “Before we get to that, there’s some things I need to say. Spending these past three weeks with you has been the best of my life. I know it’s soon but I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on you that you were the one for me. Waking up next to you, I want that every day. Your beautiful smile warms me from the inside out and chases all my demons away. I know I want to spend forever with you. I love you.” Pulling a box from his pocket, I gasp as he pulls out a ring. “Hailey May Burnett, will you make me the happiest man on earth and let me love you for the rest of our days? Will you marry me?”
Tears fill my eyes. “I’m sorry, but no.” Shaking my head. “It’s too soon, Holden. This is crazy. You have been amazing and as much as I want to say yes, I can’t. I still have another year left of school, I don’t know where that would even leave us. We barely know each other.”
His body visibly deflates before tensing at my words.
“Angel” the cold look in his eyes makes my gut clench in worry. “Think this through carefully. There’s no going back from this.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I narrow my eyes at him and try to pull my hand away but he holds tighter, refusing to let go.
“Don’t do this baby girl, please don’t make me do this.” He grits out breathing heavily.
Unease flares through me. “I think it’s time you take me back to the cabin.” I stand up and grab my coat. His eyes close and he drops his head with a defeated sigh and a slight nod.
“As you wish,” he mumbles stiffly.
The car ride is almost suffocating, the air is thick with angry emotions rolling off of him in waves.
“I think it’s best if we put some space between us. You are an amazing man that any woman would be lucky to have so I understand if you don’t want to wait for me until I’m ready to settle down.” My voice cracks. “Surely, you can see things moved too fast between us. I’m just starting to navigate my crazy life and I need to figure things out. Experience life.” The tears flowing down my face.
His hands fist the steering wheel so tight it squeaks under the pressure. His cold eyes finally meet mine. “This is far from over, baby girl.”
Dread settles over me at the venom in his words. Looking back out the window, my stomach sinks.
“Wait. This isn’t the way back to the cabin.” His jaw clenches, he keeps his stare straight ahead. “Holden, where are you taking me?” My voice trembles.
“Home.”
“What’s going on?”
“You want to leave me and I can’t have that.”
“You’re scaring me, Holden. You can’t just keep me.” I say incredulously.
“Watch me.” He snarls.
Stunned to silence, I watch as we finally pull up to large iron gates and a house that looks more like a mansion.
“You’re not a professor, are you?” My question remains unanswered as we pull into the garage.
Holding my door open, “Get out of the car Hailey.”
“I don’t know you at all.”
His glare burns into the side of my face. “You do. You just refuse to see what’s been in front of you the entire time.”
