Page 14 of Charming
Katie and I peruse the menu and each order extravagant meals of lobster and shrimp with baked potatoes. My mouth already waters at the thought. “Not to bring something up that will sour your mood, but have you thought at all about Reveal Design and Marketing and how you’re going to handle everything when you get back?”
And just like that, my watery mouth dries up like the Phoenix desert in July. “As far as what?”
Katie sighs and leans closer, “You know what. Your bitch of a stepmother is likely working behind your back even as we speak to do what she can to work her way into the company.”
“She can try all she wants. Even if she works her way in, she would have one hell of a time trying to push the CEO and owner out.”
“I know that Ella, and you know that, but that doesn’t mean that the damn woman isn’t going to try.”
“You’re right, but I’m not about to waste my time worrying over what may or may not happen.”
“I like this side of you,” she says with a soft smile, “but who are you and what did you do with Ella?”
Shrugging, I can’t help but feel a little defensive, “I don’t know. I guess being here, after everything, it’s just… hell… life is short and you know we can think that we do everything right and sometimes the shit still hits the fan. Life- and horrible people like her - are going to do what they’re going to do. I’ll be damned if I’m going to be so distracted that I become blind to the life that’s worth living right around me because I’m too busy worrying about all of the what if’s, or trying to be this perfect person that I’m not. I’m so over that. Or at least getting over that. This week has taught me that, if not anything else.”
We pause as our food is set before us and we each take our first bites. I close my eyes in happiness at the taste of everything and do my best to not shove it all into my mouth as quickly as possible in my excitement. “Anyway,” I pause, taking a sip of my wine, “maybe it’s this place. Maybe it’s everything with Jeremy,” Katie clears her throat and I roll my eyes, “Fine, fuckwad,” Katie smiles happily when I use her term. “I don’t know what it is, but I do know that I have an amazing assistant, and April will let me know if she gets wind of anything going down at work.”
“Yes, that’s true. April’s great.”
Nodding my agreement, we continue to make small talk and order more wine as we finish our meals and enjoy the ambiance around us. As the wax from the candles falls lower, the sun completely sets casting the ocean in darkness. Glancing at the beach, I notice fires start appearing as fire pits come to life. The murmur of conversation and music starts filtering into the restaurant each time someone opens the door. People are walking back and forth and it seems as if an event of some sort is taking place. “I wonder what’s going on down at the beach?”
Katie shrugs, but the waiter that’s filling our water glasses answers my question. “There’s a party on the beach tonight for guests. They have one every Friday evening and everyone is welcome to attend. You should go, it’s always a lot of fun. They have a bar, dancing, fire pits on the beach and games.”
“Oh, sounds fun,” Katie says.
Nodding, I agree, “We should check it out.”
After we finish our dessert of raspberry crème brûlée we do just that. I feel like I should be rolled out of the restaurant, I’m feeling pretty full. “Walking off the food I ate is a good idea,” I groan.
“Definitely,” she agrees rubbing her full belly making me laugh.
“How about a walk on the beach before we join the festivities?” I ask her.
“Sounds perfect.”
We each remove our sandals before walking closer to the water. Even though the sun has set, the moon casts silver and white ribbons on the inky black water while bright stars twinkle in the distance, offering a dazzling reflection. Lifting my dress and keeping handfuls in my hands, I stand still and close my eyes for a moment and simply feel. I smile as the breeze kisses my face and whips my hair about my shoulders. My ears become alert to the lapping waves beating against the shore as my tongue slides across my lips, tasting the saltiness. My feet dig deeper into the sand, reveling in the feeling of the grainy rocks between my toes as the swirling sand brushes against the tops of my feet.
“Good evening, ladies,” a gentleman dressed in a resort uniform says to us, interrupting my meditation. “Please don’t wade out any further into the water. Stay close to the shore. The tide comes in quickly. We want you to remain safe.”
“Thank you, we’ll be careful,” we promise, smiling and nodding as we move past him eager to continue our walk. As we make our way along the shore, the party sounds decrease, now merely reaching our ears in intermittent waves. The further we move away, the less it competes with the natural environment, until all that remains is the sound of the ocean. How is it that this sound – the captivating, intoxicating, rhythmically lapping waves and crash of the surf as the tide plays tag with the shore - can soothe one’s soul so completely? It’s both ever changing and constant. Never-ending. Tranquil. I feel myself relaxing and…settling. A peace washes over me I haven’t felt in years.
After walking several more feet, I come to a stop again and gaze out at the water, continuing to feel moved by its magnanimous and majestic presence. I let it speak to my soul, I let it metaphorically wash away the stain felt on my heart related to Jeremy. Life changes, presents challenges, can be amazing or painful, but there’s something comforting in the fact that the ocean always remains the same. It’s always here. It’s deep and ever lasting and I find that it grounds me. It’s peace and comfort when life feels anything but.
“Beautiful isn’t it?” Katie asks startling me from my thoughts.
“It really is. I know it sounds weird, but something about it makes me feel… makes me feel…”
“I know,” Katie says. And I know that she does.
Standing side by side we remain still and simply breathe. I allow the smell and the view to wash over me, to heal me. Tears come to my eyes and my heart lifts. I feel happy. Moving closer to the water, I lean down into the sand and with my finger write Jeremy’s name. Then I stand back and wait for the waves to come and wash over it, watching as it disappears under the water’s wrath. Leaning down again I write betrayal, then I write sadness, and then the date of our wedding that wasn’t. I watch each and every time as the water takes them all away. With each disappearance it feels as if those memories and moments hold less weight; that the definitions of each are washed from my heart and soul. After the last one I look up and find Katie’s eyes on me. She wipes away a tear and when I smile at her, we laugh in unison, and I feel lighter than I have in days. Sensing my lightness of spirit, she walks to me and embraces me in a loving, meaningful way.
We make our way back up the beach and to the party and stop at the beachfront showers. We wash the sand using both the tall, huge showerhead and the lower one at calf height. The water is freezing and we each squeal at the temperature. When finished, we quickly head to the pool and grab towels from the cart, eager to dry the water from our legs before putting on our shoes and heading to the party. It too is on the beach, but at least we won’t be encased in wet sand.
The first thing we do is head to the makeshift bar. We each order a shot and make a toast, “To new beginnings,” I say.
“Cheers!” Katie says.
We laugh and signal for another round right away. This time she raises her glass and says, “To the single life. Because this girl is going to remind you how great it is to be single once again.”
