Page 10 of Broken Melody
After my hair is complete, Britt has one of the hairdresser’s she works with style hers as well. I’m glad she’s pampering herself too. After, we each get manicures and pedicures. Truth is, the silly conversation while doing this together is keeping me occupied so that my nerves don’t drive me crazy. Otherwise, I probably would have been pacing and panicking all morning in my apartment while practicing like crazy, which would have been such a bad idea. I would have wrecked my voice before even going.
Racing home, we quickly change our clothes in near silence and then leave again, as it’s time for us to make our way to the studio. We’ve been going non-stop since we got up this morning, hurrying to fit everything in. I’m nervous as hell and kind of feel like I’m going to throw up. I’m trying to cover it up, but the more Britt talks to distract me, the dizzier I feel.
Jace gave me the address to the company, and as we near, I bend over at the waist grateful she’s the one driving. “I can do this, I can do this,” I tell myself.
“Yes, you fucking can,” Britt says sternly and it makes me sit up and nod to myself.
“You know the song you want to sing, right?”
“Yeah, I’ve known for days. I’m just going to do the same one I was singing at The Hook the night they were there. They liked it, and then I have a second one too. Jace said to have two prepared, and then they may ask me to do more after that.”
“Did he want to know which songs you chose ahead of time?”
“Nope, told me not to worry about it, they’d handle whatever I choose.”
“Perfect, you kicked ass when you sang that song. This is going to be great. Don’t worry.”
“I’m trying to have your confidence right now, but confession, I’m putting a lot of effort into pushing vomit back down my throat every time it rises up. It’s like mini throw ups over and over.”
“That’s disgusting, Sailor.”
“Maybe, yet it’s true.”
When we pull up to a huge building owned by Black Lamb Records, we have to stop at a security gate. I’m practically hyperventilating at this point and after a quick glance in my direction Britt casually leans over, opens her purse, takes out a paper bag and hands it to me. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. I’d give her a look of disbelief, but I’m too busy reaching for it and placing it over my nose and mouth to do so. Really, it shouldn’t surprise me, the stuff she has inside of that bag of hers is insane. You never know what she’s going to pull out. It’s like Hermione’s purse in Harry Potter - it’s a bottomless hole.
Britt gives me a pat on my shoulder before she pushes the button to roll down her window to speak to the security guard on duty. “Hi, how can I help you?” a kind man asks, looking at Britt, and then doing a double take when he gets a load of me. I give him a little wave. Nothing to see here, buddy.
“Hi, there. My name is Brittney Larson and this is Sailor Blue. We’re here to meet with Rick McEntyre and Jace Green. We’re expected.” She’s right. I made sure with Jace that it was okay to bring Britt with me, not that either of us could have stopped her if we had wanted to, but I still wanted to be sure they wouldn’t mind. After he got over the seeming shock that I was actually going to show up, he told me that bringing her was fine.
The security guard checks his list and nods, indicates where we need to go, then pushes a button that raises the gate so we can drive through. As we begin the drive toward the parking lot, I start to pull myself together. Closing my eyes, I allow myself to see all the fear in my mind. For one moment it’s blazing hot. There’s the fear of rejection, failure, not being good enough, and the sweat inducing worry that I’m being duped – the concern that’s followed me around the last few years. One by one, I imagine myself picking up each feeling and shoving it behind a door in my mind. As each feeling disappears, the tension in my back, neck and shoulders releases. I turn toward a door in my mind that’s so bright and shiny, it almost pulses with life. I open that door and confidence, courage, and a passion to pursue my dreams comes bursting out. With a deep breath, I open my eyes, thankful for the tool I was taught years ago, and nod my head.
“I can do this,” I say out loud to myself, but this time it sounds much more convincing.
“Hell yes you can,” Britt says after parking the car. She turns to me and gives me a once over. Looking in my eyes, she must see that I’m okay now. I should have done that trick much sooner, but it’s easy to let fear take over. And when it does, all rational thoughts tend to disappear.
We exit the car and move down the sidewalk to the front entry. Once we push through the doors, we’re standing in a large lobby. I’m surprised at all the hustle and bustle – it’s a busy place. We’re greeted by a gentleman behind a desk, “Hello, welcome to Black Lamb Records. How can I help you?”
“Hi, my name is Sailor Blue, I’m here to meet with Rick McEntyre and Jace Green.”
“Just go through that corridor there,” he points, “where you’ll find the elevator. Take it all the way to the top floor. When you exit the elevators, go to your left and through the glass doors. There’s another reception desk there and Bethany will let Rick and Jace know you’ve arrived.”
“Great, thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome,” he says cheerfully before picking up the ringing phone on his desk.
Britt and I look at each other anxiously as we wait for the elevators, no words passing between us. Nerves fly in my belly, but I’m straight up determined now. No turning back. When we’re inside the elevator, Britt reaches over, takes my hand, and squeezes. I squeeze hers back and smile. When the doors open, we drop our hands, step out and turn to the left like instructed making our way past a few closed doors and restrooms before we reach the glass doors.
Rick’s name and title is etched in the glass on the doors, and when we pull them open, we’re in a large waiting area. As I pass black and white leather couches and chairs, I smile at the woman behind the desk whom I’m assuming is Bethany. Each step I take, my feet sink into plush white carpet. I’m surrounded by black, white, and silver décor. Everything is very modern, looks expensive, and is incredibly shiny. Large silver vases overflowing with flowers sit on the receptionist’s desk and I’m surprised to see abstract art on the walls in various places throughout the room. I guess I expected it to be more rock and roll with framed posters of their signed talent instead.
“Hi, may I help you?”
“Yes, please. My name is Sailor-”
“Oh yes, Sailor, we’re expecting you,” she says before I can get further. “And you must be Brittney?” She asks with a smile while looking at Britt who nods.
“Great, I’ll let Rick, Jace and the band know you’re here.”
“Okay, thank you.”
