Page 15 of Broken Melody
It’s been two days. Two days since I went to the audition. An audition that I thought I nailed. I was totally in my element. When I started singing and all of their eyes were on me, something came over me. Immediately I thought to myself – I’ll never be right here in this moment ever again. I may never get another chance like this. I’m going to make the most of it so when I look back on this later, I’ll know I did my best. I’ll remember that I came, saw and conquered and all that other motivational stuff that people tell themselves at times like that. So I did. I reached in my heart, in my soul, to the place within that music lives, and poured everything I feel for it from my lips. I felt the lyrics and the rhythm in my soul. I let myself go. I let go of the pain that’s crippled me the past few years; I let go of my nerves, let go of my doubts and fears, and simply immersed myself in something I love. And I felt like the result was better than I could have expected.
When I walked out, I felt great. I had been in my element. I couldn’t find fault with a single thing I had done. Furthermore, I had been brave; I took a chance, found the courage to give it a shot even though I was nervous as hell. I was on top of the world that night, and Britt and I celebrated into the wee hours of the morning with ice cream, chick flicks, and a bitch session about our exes. But, that was two days ago, and now… now that pesky doubt has crept in and taken residence.
“You’re thinking about it again. Stop thinking about it,” Britt says to me from the other side of the bar. Back in my real world at The Hook it’s karaoke night yet again and the place is hopping. I’ve already been asked to perform a few times and part of me doesn’t want to. Truth is, I’m feeling down.
“If I was in the mood I’d laugh at that suggestion. I can’t stop thinking about it, Britt. Why haven’t they called?”
“They will. Relax. You were amazing. Plus, it’s only been two days. Chill.” I kind of want to tell her what she can do with her ‘chill’ comment, but instead I manage a nod knowing she means well. “All the guys were blown away and they would be making a huge mistake if they didn’t ask you to join them. I mean, didn’t you see the look on Rick’s face?”
“What do you mean?” I ask in confusion and look up from the drink I’m pouring.
“I mean, he clearly thinks you’re fantastic. There’s no way that he’s going to let you simply walk away if the band doesn’t choose you. You’re a guaranteed moneymaker.”
“I seriously doubt that.”
“I don’t. In fact, I would place money on it.”
“I wouldn’t. Do you know how many fantastic wanna-make-it-big-time-singers there are in the world? A lot. Do you know how many people audition just to get on those reality tv shows and then how good those are that actually get chosen. And those that win…well, I’m just not sure I could begin to complete. And I have no idea how many other people they had sing for them. No doubt they simply found someone better than me. I just wish they would call and break it to me already.”
“Enough, Sailor. You know I hate that kind of negative self-talking bullshit. You were amazing and even you know it. Your face when we walked out, how we sat in the car and laughed and screamed together because we knew,we knew, you nailed it. So stop. Just relax. And trust that you will hear something soon. They told you they would get back to you either way. I’m confident they will.”
“Don’t talk sense to me right now,” I tell her a smile curling my lips.
She shrugs, “Hey don’t worry. If by some chance I’m wrong, and I’m not, but if I am, I’ll be happy to give Rick and Jace a call myself,” she says with an evil little smile.
“You wouldn’t.”
“You know better than that,” she smiles and winks making me sigh but laugh softly.
“Hey Sailor, how’s it going tonight?” A customer asks me and I turn to him and take his order. I try to immerse myself in the monotony of taking orders, mixing and pouring drinks, laughing with customers, asking how people are doing, and reminding myself that no matter what happens, I’m doing okay. I was just fine before Rick and Jace walked in here and handed me their business cards, and I’ll be just fine afterward too.
“Will you please grace us with a song tonight, Sailor?” Dusty asks coming up behind me.
Turning around to smile at him, I nod, “How can I say no to such a nice way of asking? Sure. Any special requests?”
“No. Whatever you want. You knock everything you sing out of the park. I’m never disappointed.”
“Well that is a nice compliment, thank you.”
As I walk by Britt, she suddenly turns around to face me, “You should sing a kick ass woman empowerment song,” Britt suggests.
I laugh a little, the suggestion seeming to come from no where, “Why?”
She shrugs, but she has a twinkle in her eye and a look on her face that tells me she’s up to something, “Why not?” she says.
I stare at her for a minute, but whatever it is, she’s not giving in, so I shrug, “Alright.” Making my way around the bar, I head to the stage, greeting and talking to people along the way.
I stand in line waiting for my turn, but the regulars push me forward, and when Erik sees me he grabs my hand and pulls me forward, “Hey, Sailor,” Erik says with a smile, “You don’t have to wait in line.”
“I don’t mind – everyone does.”
“No way, not you. Dusty wouldn’t have it.”
I smile, “Great job spinning tonight. I’ve enjoyed it in between people singing.”
His face lights up, “Thanks. Cool you noticed. What song will it be tonight?”
“Hmm. How about ‘Fight Song’, I tell him and point out the song I’m referring to.”
