Page 70 of Broken Melody
The light is so bright and my eyes have yet to adjust; I can barely make out anything or anyone, but Maddox suddenly appears in the light with me. He leaves his spot, changing the choreography up. And I know… I know that he’s here to offer support. And I find it. By looking in his eyes. Before me stands the man that originally made me crazy, but then vulnerably revealed his complete and true self. He has enabled me to do the same. Thank god, because he’s helping me become a better version of myself. I look in his eyes, and I find the support and reassurance needed. And then there is an almost indecipherable lilt in his expression and in that moment there is mutual acknowledgement and acceptance of shared love. My confidence soars. True bliss and joy engulf me. I look even more deeply into his eyes and our shared emotions culminate in a shine and glimmer that permeates from us into the audience. I smile, no beam, through the words, and my nervousness disappears as we sing with incredible accord as we continue to face each other. Our voices convey the emotions found in the lyrics and we entertain the crowd with our burning emotions.
The two-hour concert flies by. My outfit change happens without a hitch. At one point, as planned, I leave the stage and let the guys sing one of their hits without me. I feel like a rock star when I return to sing with them again and the crowd screams. In that moment, I feel accepted, validated, and it’s wonderful. All the while, I use every opportunity to communicate my full, appreciative and loving heart to Maddox through my expressions and eyes. If the smiles he gives me are any indication, he knows.
When we sing our last song, and have left the stage, I grab Maddox by his shirt. “Right before I was going on stage? Really?” He only smiles, and the edges of my mouth twitch, “Say it again without running away this time,” I demand.
He moves closer, maintaining eye contact, “I. Love. You.”
I watch his lips with each word then look into his eyes, “Maddox, I-”
“Do you guys hear that?” Nixon asks moving in between us.
“Hear what?” I ask at the same time Maddox says, “Seriously?”
“Listen,” Henley instructs walking up to us.
When we pay attention, we can hear the crowd chanting. “What are they saying?”
“They’re saying Graffiti, over and over again,” Jace says walking out of the wings. “You guys were great. Sailor, what a debut! You were fantastic.”
“He’s right, you were amazing,” Maddox says and my attention once again returns to him and I want more than anything to have some one on one time with him.
“How does it feel, Sailor?” Henley asks.
I reluctantly look away from Maddox to Henley, “It’s amazing, I feel amazing.”
“Great. Because you guys need to get out there for one more song.”
We all smile, then Nixon says, “Let’s go!” I look at Maddox one more time before we run onto the stage and sing our hearts out for one more tune. I realize it would be just fine if this night never ends.
Prior to exiting the stage for the last time, we move forward and take a bow. It is only then I realize we’re all sweaty messes. And as the adrenaline surge declines, exhaustion ensues. I would kill for a shower, some time with Maddox, and a bed that offers deep sleep. Well, and maybe other things as well, I think imagining telling Maddox how I feel while we’re naked. The possibilities make me tingle.
Before we can do anything, Jace is there, “You guys have a half hour to get cleaned up and then we’ll be doing the fan meet and greet.”
“I know we discussed it before, but can you remind me again what is expected?” I ask.
“Of course,” Jace nods. “After each concert, we meet any concert goers that have backstage passes or won a radio contest. You’ll have pics taken and sign autographs. And say thank you a lot as they congratulate your awesome performance.”
“Yes, that’s right. Sounds good,” I tell him making a beeline for my dressing room and shower having lost sight of Maddox in the crowd. The crew is already starting to take down all the equipment and I recollect hearing someone ask for his input on something.
I’m out of the shower, clean and dressed in record time. Wandering down the hallway I look for Maddox, one of the guys or an indication of the room that I’m supposed to be in for the fan meet and greet. Suddenly, I’m grabbed at the shoulder and waist then lifted up. Startled I flail until Maddox says, “Shh,” in my ear. He takes us into a closet and closes the door.
“I’m experiencing déjà vu,” I tell him with a laugh.
“What can I say? I have a fondness for closets.”
“You don’t say?”
“I do say,” he says moving toward me. Suddenly I’m grateful for the red dress I’m wearing as his hand starts trailing up my thigh.
“Don’t we have fans to meet and greet?”
“I thought we could take five minutes for ourselves really quick.”
“Wow. I only get five minutes? Aren’t you generous.”
“Baby,” he says cooing to me and I find I like it. “It’ll be the best five minutes of your life.”
I laugh at his arrogance but it falls away quickly. I quickly find the blackness and tight confines of the space appealing. The heat of his skin so close to mine becomes my only guide. I reach out and touch his chest, and then find his mouth with mine. He opens and I take charge, stroking inside of his mouth, moving quickly over him, clutching his shoulders. Pulling away, I gasp, “I love you too,” I kiss him again quickly. “I love you too, Maddox.”
