Page 74 of Broken Melody
“That had to be better than what you were facing.”
“You would think, but getting out of there became more important than anything else. I started locking my door, pushing my desk in front of it, and slept with a knife under my pillow. If he tried to come into my room again, I didn’t know it. I dropped out of school and picked up more work shifts and got my GED years later. He sneered at me, made me feel uncomfortable, but even though I was scared, I did my best to ignore him, saved every penny I could, and continually counted down the days until I was eighteen so I could leave without repercussions. But then, something changed my plan. I started feeling sick, passed out at work once, and at first denied what I knew was the case. When I could no longer ignore it, I got a test to confirm that Adam left something behind when he took my innocence. My whole world just…shifted again.”
“Your son,” I whisper feeling pained for her. Wishing I could wipe away the pain and sorrow she must feel.
“Yes. My son.”
“Does Adam know that you were pregnant?”
“No. And the way he was conceived, well that’s one of the reasons why…why I gave him up for adoption. He didn’t ask to be conceived, I know it wasn’t his fault, but I couldn’t…” she breaks off and I squeeze her hand again. “It’s okay, Sailor. That was a choice you were entitled to make.”
“I still feel guilt sometimes, but I wasn’t able to offer him the kind of life he deserved. At that point, it just became about getting out. So, two weeks before my eighteenth birthday, I secretly packed whatever I could carry in my backpack and purse, took my cash, and left. I moved away, worked my way through my pregnancy, and then gave my son up for adoption to a nice family that helped pay for my medical expenses and any additional needs during that time. When it was finished, I did my best to move on, start over.”
“I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell us that he was here.”
“Because he threatened to tell all of you, but worse, the media. He told me he wanted money to keep quiet. I know that the band can’t take that kind of press, Maddox. That was one of the things Rick asked me specifically when I signed the contract, if I had any skeletons in my closet. I lied. I lied because I wanted to be in the band so badly.”
“It’s okay,” I begin but she shakes her head.
“No, it’s not. My lying could have potentially ruined everything you were trying to rebuild. I didn’t want to be responsible for that. I didn’t want what he did to me years ago, what I’ve fought to overcome, and finally did, for a past that doesn’t define me any longer to hurt you - to hurt all of you. I didn’t want to ruin something that I’ve come to love so much.”
“Sailor, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, more important than you. I would do anything to keep you safe. I thought…god… I thought I was going to lose you. When I went into the room and you were just lying there…”
“I thought I heard you come in. I saw you before I passed out.”
“I beat down the fucking door,” I tell her honestly.
“Maddox, you saved me,” she squeezes my hand, brings it to her face and kisses my palm. “I’m sure this brought back some bad memories for you and I’m sorry.”
“Do not apologize to me. I’m so glad, so fucking glad, that you are okay.”
“Well, when I’m feeling better, I’m going to thank you properly.”
“Is that right?” I ask her and make her laugh when I wiggle my eyebrows. “Actually, songbird, you can thank me by getting better. And when you get out of here, go away with me for a little while until you’re completely healed.”
“Sounds like a deal,” she smiles.
“Also, I’m going to tell you right now, when I get you to myself, and you’re finally feeling better, I’m taking you to the bedroom…”
“Yeah?” she asks with a smile.
“And I’m going to smack that sweet ass of yours over and over until you realize your mistake of not seeing your own value.” She laughs knowing I’m teasing and the sound of it sooths me. “Seriously though, I meant it when I told you I’m in love with you. If I had lost you…” I shake my head. “And I’m not the only one angry with you. We all love you - Nixon, Rocco, Henley, Jace and Rick. You’re a part of us now whether you like it or not.”
“I like it. Believe me, I like it. I love all of you too.”
“We could have managed Adam. You should have trusted us.”
“I’m sorry,” she says meekly and her eyes get heavy. “I really am. I’m sorry.”
“Rest now. We can talk again later.”
“I want to tell the guys, Maddox. They deserve to know what happened.”
“That’s up to you, but I will be here beside you the whole time should you choose to tell them.”
“I love you, Maddox. Thank you for saving me.”
Her words soothe something within me that I don’t understand. “I love you,” I tell her, but she’s already asleep once again so I hope her soul hears my words instead.
