Page 9 of Broken Melody
“Jace Green.”
“Yes, Jace. Remember, we searched for information on him and we found multiple photos of him with the band, mentioning of him in articles or conducting his own interviews, remember?”
“Yeah,” I take a deep breath. “I remember. I’m being stupid.”
“No, you’re not,” Britt says squeezing my hands and looking deep into my eyes, the understanding and lack of judgment shining through.
“Thank you, Britt. I’m just scared and not sure about this, I guess.”
“You’re nervous, I get it, but let me ask you this. If you didn’t go and give this a shot would you ever forgive yourself?”
I take a minute to respond, but the answer had already popped into my mind immediately upon being asked the question, “No. No, I wouldn’t forgive myself. I would always wonder what could have happened. It’s just…what are the chances? Who the hell walks into The Hook of all places just to hear me sing? It just doesn’t seem very likely, that shit doesn’t happen, Britt. Especially not to people like me.”
“Well, I’ve got news for you, honey. It is possible, because it happened to you. And why not you? If not you, it would be someone else! I say you walk in there, with me of course because I’m going with you,” she clarifies in case there was any question, which makes me smile because I wouldn’t have it any other way, “as though you have a right to be there and just do what you do. You give it your all and you blow them the hell away with that amazing voice of yours.”
“Who knows who the hell else will be there. I may not have an ice cream cone’s chance in hell of making this happen for me.”
“You have just as much chance as any other person that walks in there. And you have absolutely no chance if you don’t go.”
“I mean, is this really a situation that I want to get involved in? I told you what Jace said when I phoned him first thing this morning to get more details, right?”
“About how they are looking to add a woman’s voice to the band to help change up their sound? Yeah, you told me that.”
“But, I get the feeling there’s more to it than that.”
“Why? What would make you think that?”
“I don’t know, a feeling I guess. Intuition? When I looked into the band, I read that they’ve been friends for years. Started their band in a garage. It had a really stupid name…what was it? Oh yeah, Radioactive Waste.”
“Seriously?”
“I know, but they were kids, what do you expect? Anyway, they were hired for random gigs while they were in high school. Dances and that kind of thing and people interviewed after they became famous said they were surprisingly good for high school kids. When they graduated, they started doing gigs all around town, even went on a mini tour of sorts in California and other states within reasonable driving distance. Before they could even start college, they were discovered by a talent scout, put together a demo, were picked up by Black Lamb Records, decided to forego college for a chance to make it big, and well…the rest is history.”
“All of it sounds good to me,” Britt shrugs while sorting through the jewelry pile mess she made. Whoever has to put all this stuff away is going to hate us.
“Well yeah, sure. But the thing is, a band that’s been together that long…has that kind of history…why would they want to add some chick to their group? They’ve built a name for themselves - have had success, and some great hits - I don’t know…it just seems off. I mean, why not just a collaboration with another singer or something? No, there’s something going on.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But how does that affect your desire to show up today?”
“It doesn’t. No. I guess it shouldn’t.”
“Exactly. And, Sailor, we’ve been going over this for days. Ever since Jace gave you that card.”
“God, Britt, I know that,” I snap and then immediately catch myself and reach out and hug her, “I’m sorry. I’m just nervous as hell.”
“I know. I’ve been hearing you practice in your room when you think I’m not listening each night.”
“Shut up, I’m not practicing.”
“Yes, you are. I even heard you pretend to introduce yourself to a crowd,” she laughs and I laugh too. “Come on, let’s buy those items you picked out and get out of here. I want to get started on your hair.”
We gather our purchases and take them to the register. Of course Britt decided she also needed a new outfit for “our” audition. She said something about not wanting to embarrass me, and if she needs to use me, or this situation, as an excuse to buy something, that’s fine with me.
I pile my purchases on the counter and watch the sales lady ring them up one by one, place the jewelry in small bags, haphazardly fold the clothing, and bag it all. Placing my card in the chip reader I wait to go through the payment process, privately wishing she had taken more care when handling my new things. I mean this is an extravagance for me. The damage is definitely more than I can afford. Momentarily closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and determine not to think about how much I’m spending and tell myself it’s an investment of sorts. It’s been a long time since I’ve splurged and like Britt said, I need something to feel confident in this afternoon. And if things go my way, I’ll make extremely good use of everything, so I add that to my list of reasons to justify the unplanned expense.
Next stop is the salon where Britt works. She insisted on doing my hair for tonight. I protested at first. I thought maybe I should do it myself or at most, we should go somewhere and get our hair done together. I didn’t want her to think she had to do that for me, nor did I want to feel or look like anyone but myself. I had no idea what she may envision for the audition but she quickly let me know I was offending her, so I dropped it. She’s doing exactly what I would prefer, wrapping my hair around a hot iron and giving me long loose curls that look pretty falling down my back. I’m blessed with thick dark hair and it doesn’t take much for my hair to look nice. I should have given her more credit for knowing what I’d want.
When she first started doing my hair, she suggested adding purple or pink highlights. I’m not opposed to the idea, in fact I love it when I see it on other people, but I’m feeling reluctant to do any major changes right now. I don’t know if the way I look is part of what Jace likes about me, and admitting that to myself is a little embarrassing and makes me feel like I have a big ego. But aside from that, I want to walk in there and simply be who I am. No crazy over the top outfit, no gimmicks, no pretend show. Either they like me for me, or they don’t.
