Page 12 of Perfect Tragedy
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. I’d likely kick them in the teeth,” he laughs. “But sometimes I’m surprised one of the counselors haven’t taken me aside to make sure I’m ok…you know given that my dad’s gone.”
“Yeah, I get it,” I nod. “How’s Mandy doing with all of this,” I ask about his sister.
“She’s counting down the minutes until she graduates and,” he uses air quotes, “gets the hell out of this town. I can’t really blame her. She and my mom argue all the time. Mandy’s angry. Angry at my dad, angry at my mom. I get it. I just don’t see the point in acting out the way she does. How does that help?”
“I’m sorry,” I say again at a loss for what else I should say. “It has to be hard to watch.”
“It is,” he nods. “We tried you know? Every time she would bring bottles home, when we realized it was a problem, we’d dump them out. Hide them. Whatever we needed to do. It didn’t take long though before she would hide it too.”
“Oh no.”
“I read that it’s typical behavior. When we would dump it and get rid of it, she’d rant and rage at us. We thought for a time she was getting better, but eventually we just realized she was hiding vodka in her water bottles, in other liquids, I even found a bottle of tequila under the bathroom sink once. Fact is, if someone wants to do something, they’ll find a way. It doesn’t matter how much you try to stop it. I finally realized that I can’t make her stop. She has to decide that for herself.”
“That has to make you feel helpless.”
“It does. I just don’t understand why you would choose to live your life like that.”
I just nod, knowing I don’t have the words that can make any of it better. Instinctively I know that he just needs to talk to someone. I can’t really picture him venting all of this to Jack. I imagine their conversations center more around how many reps they did when they worked out, what they should eat and of course which girl’s ass is the nicest. They are guys after all.
“I hardly even recognize my mom anymore,” he confesses. “It’s sad. But sometimes, I get glimpses of her and I refuse to give up on her yet.”
“Do you have some family you can call to help? Does she have siblings? Your grandparents? You shouldn’t have to take all of this on yourself. And you know, a school counselor may be able to give some advice or point you in a direction where support would be available for you and Mandy.”
“There’s no one,” he says with such finality I don’t ask any questions or make suggestions. Instead, I sit in silence as we finally pull into the mall parking lot and Blake searches for a place to park.
Once we head inside, I finally ask, “So, spill it. What do you need my help buying? Is Mandy’s birthday coming up?”
He smiles and something about it looks shy, “No. It’s not for Mandy.”
“Then who?” I ask curiously. I know I’m not crazy when I see Blake’s cheeks flush with a little color. “Blake?” I ask again, the sight surprising. Who knew Blake could get embarrassed about anything?
“I… well…” he hesitates and I don’t know why, but the little hairs on my arms raise with goosebumps. “I need your help picking out a Valentine’s Day gift for… someone.”
My stomach drops and I instantly feel sick. Saliva gathers in my mouth and I swallow several times before I manage to utter, “Someone?”
“Yeah,” he replies.
“Who?” I ask and I know that one word was several octaves high.
He looks into my eyes, then looks away. “I don’t want to say…yet. I just want your honest unbiased opinion. Plus, I’m just no good at this kind of thing and I don’t want to screw it up. I want it to be… special.”
Yep. I’m going to throw up. My eyes dart around looking for a bathroom.
“I’ll tell you about her though.”
Somehow I manage to nod.
“I’ve known her… for a long time. One day, I just… I don’t know… saw her differently.”
My brows lower, “Differently?”
“Yeah, differently. You know, in the way guys like girls.”
“Well obviously, I guess I just mean, what changed?”
“I don’t really know. I never let my thoughts or emotions even go in that direction before. It wouldn’t have been right. But then, one day, it just slammed into me. I realized I like her, a lot. I think maybe I have for a while. I fought it though, really hard. I didn’t feel right about it.”
“How come?” I ask trying to sound casual when what I really want to do is scream at him demanding answers.
