Page 36 of Perfect Tragedy
Feeling my cheeks flush, I shrug, “Busted.”
“Are they good listeners?” He nods toward Cupcake and her neighbor Remy who’s stuck his head out to greet Blake. Alternatively, he may merely be checking to see what the commotion is all about and what the likelihood is of stealing a treat. Blake smiles and gives Remy a sugar cube and begins rubbing his nose. I’ve never wished I was a horse before, even momentarily, until now.
“They’re the best.”
“I’m sure you’re giving them an earful,” he smiles at me.
“I had barely gotten started.”
He turns to me, dropping his hand from Remy who makes a sound in displeasure at the loss of his attention. “I wish you’d talk to me instead. You haven’t said much to me, or Jack.”
“I guess I’ve… been processing everything. I don’t mean to be distant.”
“I know it will be weird with us not here, but it isn’t like you’ll never see us again.”
“Don’t speak logically to me, Blake. That doesn’t help.”
He grins, “What was I thinking?”
I shrug and turn away.
“What can I do, Sienna? What can I say?”
“Nothing. There’s nothing you can do. It is what it is.”
“Turn around and look at me.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I take a deep breath before I turn around and paste a smile onto my face. “Blake, I’m fine. Really. It just… took me by surprise is all.”
His gaze roams over my face, I swear it pauses at my lips before his eyes connect with mine again. Wishful thinking I’m sure. “Why do I feel like that’s not the whole truth?”
I smile, but it feels forced. “I wish-” I stop and bite my lip.
“You wish what?”
“I wish that you were having as hard a time about the fact that you’re leaving, as I am.”
His mouth opens to respond and I feel my face instantly flush embarrassed that I even voiced something so vulnerable. And I know I don’t know exactly what all he is feeling about this change – likely he has mixed feelings but it’s been hard for me to appreciate that. So, I wish I could snatch the words from the air and shove them back, never having voiced them at all because they don’t matter and I’m making assumptions. Plus, at the end of the day, it doesn’t change a damn thing.
“Sienna, I-”
Whatever he was going to say, never comes, because we’re interrupted.
“Sienna?” My dad stops when he sees the two of us standing there. “Hey, Blake. Didn’t know I’d find you in here too.”
Blake nods and he looks as frustrated that our conversation was interrupted as I am.
“You better get in the house and help your mother. She’s looking for you.”
With a quick glance at Blake, I nod at my dad and swiftly exit and head to the house.
A few hours later, the party is in full swing. Laughter rings out through the air and our yard is full of people - high school students here to say their goodbye’s as well as friends of my parents. I’m so glad mom and dad offered to have a joint party it felt like the right thing to do. And I’m fairly certain Blake’s mom hadn’t thought to celebrate with his friends - if at all - which is sad. I haven’t even see her so I’m not sure if she’s even here, but Mandy is and I’m thankful for that.
It feels like members of the whole town have come to shake Blake and Jack’s hands and wish them luck. I’ve seen more than one person tuck some money into their hands, along with a pat on the back or a hug.
Conversation and laughter abounds; the smell of meat cooking and barbecue permeates the air. There’s a constant pop of a beer or soda can cracking open and people graze around the yard with full plates. Various lawn games are set up and I walk from person to person answering the dreaded questions I was trying to previously avoid.
“You must be so proud of your brother,” Mrs. Thompson, one of my teachers at school says.
