Page 46 of Perfect Tragedy
“How are you so oblivious, Blake?”
“Oblivious to what? Why do I feel so stupid?”
“You’re not stupid!I’mstupid! Because after all this time you’d think that I would have known that loving you was just plain stupid.”
“What do you mean? I love you too, Sienna. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this. Like I said, it wasn’t expected. The last time I was home, I guess it happened and then she sent me a letter-”
“Stop.”
“Stop?”
“I don’t want to hear anymore. It doesn’t matter. Just go, Blake. Go back to Hailey and get to the airport.”
I’m aware of the fact that Vanessa is standing there looking like she doesn’t know what to do. I ignore her, not caring what she’s witnessing.
“I don’t want to leave like this. Tell me why you’re so upset.”
“Would you just stop it!” I scream, my anger making fire run through my veins.
“Stop what?” Blake asks looking confused and taking my shoulders again which I immediately brush off.
I laugh. I laugh and I can’t stop. Gasping for breath, holding my belly, I ask, “How could you not know? Youhaveto.”
“Know what?”
“But it doesn’t matter,” I keep speaking as if he never did. “It never has. You don’t see me. I’m no one to you and in the meantime I just keep getting hurt over and over and over again. When will I learn?”
“Don’t see you? All I’ve ever seen is you, Si. You’re my best friend too. More than my best friend. You’re everything.”
“Everything?” I laugh. “Then how could you be with her?” My voice breaks. “Are you….are you not attracted to me?”
His face falls, he shakes his head, “Sienna,” he whispers my name.
“I love you,” I confess and it feels like I’ve dropped a bomb between us. Even Vanessa gasps because she knows this is it. This is more than the usual I love you’s we’ve exchanged before. “I’ve beenin lovewith you for as long as I can remember and all it brings me is pain.”
“Sienna, I-”
“No. Don’t say anything. I already know. You’re my brother’s best friend. I’m like a little sister. Believe me, I know. I’ve reminded myself of that over and over through the years. Each time I could swear that you saw something or felt something toward me too, I reminded myself that it wasn’t real. I know it isn’t, but I just can’t stop.”
“Blake?” I hearhersay his name again and I let out a sob at the sound.
“Hailey, I’ll be at the car in a minute.”
“Just go,” I tell him quietly at first.
“Sienna please,” he says and I hear the pain in his voice and it angers me.
“Just go!” I turn around and scream at him. His eyes widen and his mouth falls open in surprise. “I can’t do this anymore. I won’t. I need to move on. I need to let go. I need to stop hurting all the time. Just go, Blake. Clearly, you have other things that are much more important. I can’t do this anymore,” I repeat.
“Sienna, no, don’t do this, we need to talk…”
“No, we don’t.”
“Blake, what’s going on?” Hailey asks again her gaze bouncing back and forth between us.
I laugh bitterly and finally pull Vanessa’s car door open and get inside closing the door. Vanessa is already inside and the car is running - I don’t know when that happened, but I’m grateful. “Can we please go? Now?” She nods.
Blake knocks on the window, “Please roll down the window, Sienna.”
