Page 59 of Perfect Tragedy
His limp.
The hardness that’s not natural I’m feeling now.
The look in his eyes.
I know.
I know what happened. “Oh, Blake,” I whisper, sadness and pain wrenching my heart at the thought of what he’s been through.
Without a word he reaches down and lifts his pant leg. A prosthesis appears all the way up to just under his knee. “I didn’t handle losing it well. I was angry - thoroughly pissed off and mourning my friends. I was stuck in a hospital bed for a while, Hailey would come and visit but I could see her getting angrier and angrier each time. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she first saw…”
I hate her. I hated her before but I hate her with a fiery passion now. She better hope I never see her.
“I required a lot of care at first. The initial prosthetic didn’t work. Too painful, uncomfortable. Missing a limb requires relearning how to walk, to move, in a way you wouldn’t expect. There’s a new balance, rhythm, pace to get used to. It’s hindering in ways you don’t want it to be and denial is a real and heavy thing. I didn’t know you could grieve for a body part. So many things I didn’t know.”
“I can’t even imagine. You’re so strong, Blake. You amaze me.”
He laughs sardonically, “Right. Strong. No. I was a mess. I’ll never forget the day that Hailey came home from… I don’t know shopping or something. She had… Peyton in her arms and said she needed a diaper change…”
Peyton. His daughter’s name is Peyton.
“I wanted to help. I stood, began crossing the room with my crutches when my gait got out of sequence with my crutches and I got caught in midair – then fell. Hard. To the ground.”
My heart goes out to him at the thought.
“I was embarrassed, struggled to get up and Hailey… well she was angry. She exploded. Told me that she was sorry but that this wasn’t working. That she had a confession to make, that Peyton, wasn’t mine,” he choked out.
“What?”
“She told me that she couldn’t be my caretaker and her daughter’s too. That she needed to make the right choice for her and it wasn’t me.”
“She was lying, right?”
“I thought so, accused her of it, but she had gotten a paternity test done with a sample of my blood - god knows there was enough of it around during my recovery and she showed it to me. I am not her father. Having to choose between me and her actual father, apparently I was the better choice at the time, until this,” he says gesturing to his leg.
“I don’t even know what to say. An apology just seems inadequate.”
“It was a long time ago. It is what it is.”
“And now? What have you been doing since then?”
“I’m retired from the military obviously, but I still help teach new recruits. I like it, it keeps me busy. It’s not something I have to do, but I want to.”
“So what now, Blake?”
“What do you mean?” his brow furrows in confusion.
“Are you…are you with someone now - romantically?”
“No,” he says hesitantly.
“Blake?”
“Yeah?”
“I think we’ve waited long enough, don’t you?”
He shakes his head in confusion, “What do you mean?”
