Page 60 of Perfect Tragedy
I put my mouth on his. The kiss is soft at first, just a meeting of our lips, like they are getting acquainted first, then I add more pressure. He makes a sound in the back of his throat, part surprise, part need and his lips part. I take advantage and deepen the kiss and he matches my intensity move for move.
Without breaking contact, I straddle his lap. I can’t believe I’m being so bold, but what do I have to lose? He’s not with anyone and he confessed he loved me once - maybe he still does. Maybe he never stopped, like I never stopped loving him. Is there hope for us?
Pulling away from him gently, I look into his eyes and place my hands on his cheeks. His eyes squeeze close. When he opens them and looks at me, I smile. His hands grip my sides and he doesn’t push me away.
“Do you still wonder?”
“Wonder?”
“What would have happened if we weren’t interrupted?”
His eyes widen and before he can say anything, I put my lips on his again. I pour everything I’m feeling into that kiss. How I’ve missed him all this time. How my heart aches for what he’s been through. How I’d give anything for one big do-over.
His hands leave my sides and travel up my back and then dive into my hair. His kiss is fire. Passion pours into me and I know,I know,that there will never be anyone else for me. No one has ever made me feel this way. I push the softest part of me into the hardest part of him and his groan excites me.
My hands travel down his chest and to his stomach and then suddenly, I’m no longer sitting on him anymore, I’m seated next to him once more.
“Wh-” I look over at Blake and see his chest rising and falling sharply.
“That shouldn’t have happened.”
“What? Why? You said you’re not with anyone. Neither am I.”
“Sienna, we can’t do this. We can’t be together,” he says quietly and with pain reflected in his eyes.
“What? Why? I don’t understand. Is it because I live here and you live in California? I mean, yeah that will make things hard, but long distance has worked for people before.”
“No.”
“No?”
“Sienna, I’m not… you deserve better than someone like me.”
“Someone like you?” I shake my head in confusion. “I don’t have any idea what you mean.”
With a little bit of difficulty he stands and limps as he takes a few steps away from me. His head is down, hands on his hips and he appears to be trying to compose himself.
“Hailey was a lot of things, but she was right about one thing.”
“Oh, please. Do tell. This should be interesting,” I say with sarcasm while feeling ire begin to rise inside of me like a tsunami gathering strength before it crashes to shore.
“I’m not… I’m not a complete man.”
“What?” I ask disbelief freezing me as I stare at him sure that I misheard what he said.
“When she left, she said that I’m only half a man now. One that will always need taken care of on some level. I’m not good enough for you, Si. This can’t happen. I won’t let it - no matter….no matter…”
“No matter what?”
He ignores the question, “I can only be your friend, again, if you’ll have me.”
I shake my head as if it will dislodge the words that have penetrated my ears, “I’d say you’re joking, but this isn’t fucking funny.”
“I wasn’t trying to be.”
“You losing part of your leg does not make you less of a man. That’s ludicrous.”
“I disagree.”
