Page 16 of Perfect Date
“Yeah, you too, Eric,” I reply to his nose, because let’s be honest, it’s all I can see. It’s all that I can look at. How in the world does he still have it on?
As he walks away, I begin shaking my head and put my head in my hands and take a moment to just sit in disbelief. Kimberly is going to die when I tell her about this. She will never stop laughing - that is once she realizes I’m serious and not making this up.
“Hey, Charlie?”
I squeeze my eyes closed and keep my head in my hands for a moment - because of course. Of course he’s at my table ready to say something to me.I feel humiliated, but at the same time, I know that’s silly. Slowly, I lift my head. The humor on his face has me cracking a smile. I can’t help it.
“Hey,” I say in return.
“Question for you,” Justin says and his eyes are dancing in delight.
“I don’t know if I have an answer.”
“Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?”
“What?” I ask confused.
“Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?” He asks again.
“I don’t know, why?” I ask playing along.
“Because they taste funny.”
Letting my head fall into my hands again, I laugh. I laugh for a really long time.
5
“Idon’t believe you,” Kimberly stares at me with her mouth wide open while shaking her head back and forth in disbelief.
“I had the same look on my face the whole time, I’m sure. Plus, does this sound like something I would, or even could, make up?”
She just ignores my rhetorical question, “And he just…” she gestures to her nose, “kept the nose on?”
“Yep,” I sigh.
“Like, ate with the nose on?”
“Sure did.”
“It didn’t get in the way when he drank?”
“You would think it would have, but no. Guess he’s used to it.”
“I just…”
“I know,” I tell her understanding her inability to find the appropriate words.
“I just can’t picture it.”
“Be thankful. I couldn’t even bring myself to look around us. People could have been laughing, gaping, pointing, or simply ignoring it all, I don’t know. I was absolutely mortified and incredibly afraid to look. Or maybe I was just mesmerized and couldn’t take my eyes off the catastrophe in front of me – either way, the same outcome.”
“You’re not joking?”
“You’ve asked me that like three times now.”
“So, that’s a no then?”
“Why would I even joke about something like this?”
