Page 29 of Perfect Date
8
“You’re making this up,” Kimberly insists again for about the eighth time.
“Do I look even slightly amused to you?”
“No, in fact you could use a really good moisturizer. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.”
“Oh great, beat a girl while she’s down why don’t you.”
“I’m serious. Have I told you about the latest product I’m using? And don’t worry, we’ll get back to bird man.”
“It’s okay, really. We don’t need to ever speak of him again. I’m more than okay with it.”
“Oh please, you know me better than that,” she rolls her eyes and I sigh knowing my wish of moving on was too good to be true.
“Just tell me about the amazing moisturizer you’re using already.”
“Oh, it’s not a moisturizer I’m going to tell you about, but don’t worry, I’ve got you covered as far as that goes. I’ll bring one for you tomorrow.”
“Oh, thank goodness. What would my skin do without you?” I tease.
“Aren’t you lucky you won’t have to find out? Anyway, I just started using a product called Acai Your Boobies.”
“Excuse me? Your…boobies?”
“Yep. Essentially, it’s a nourishing polish made from sea salt, vitamin A, and retinol. It’s supposed to firm and improve the appearance of my boobs.”
“Is that right? And how is that going for you so far?”
“I mean, it’s a little early to tell. I haven’t been using it for that long yet.”
“I see.”
While sitting at our table, at our favorite Mexican burrito place, while I’m mid bite, she puts her food down and grabs the front of her breasts through her scrubs. “I mean, they feel fine to me, maybe they’re a little more lifted than usual.”
I choke on my beans, cheese and rice burrito and set it down and grab for my drink to help ease the food down my throat. “Well, at least you’re getting your money’s worth,” I comment once I can speak.
“Yeah, but I have an important question,” she says with a serious look on her face.
“What’s that?” I ask.
She stands up, turns around, lifts up her scrub top and sticks her butt in my direction. “How’s my ass look?”
I choke.
Again.
Kimberly flips around and pats me hard on the back trying to help. “Oh my gosh,” my eyes are watering, “Warn a girl, first next time, would you?”
She shrugs, then turns right back around and shoves her butt out again, “Well?”
“It looks amazing. Super… pert.” I say hoping that’s what she’s wanting to hear. Honestly, I guess it looks the same it always does, but I can’t say I’ve really been paying much attention to her butt.
“Well, that’s good. I also bought this product called Megababe Le Tush.”
“Tush? As in butt?”
“Yep. It’s a clarifying butt mask.”
