Page 19 of Last First Love
"Daniels. Shut up and tell me who the girl is that has you acting even more stupid than usual."
I squirm a little at his tone. He really does have that fatherly sort of authority in his voice when he wants to. Which I guess is a good thing, with him being a dad and all. But still, I don't need him giving me that kind of vibe right now. I need him to give me the bro-ferential treatment, not the disapproving dad smackdown.
Aaron settles onto his couch and rubs his chin. "So, let's recap. You basically put your sleaze moves on some poor unsuspecting woman and she what—shot you down? That happens like every day of the week with you. No, it's got to be bigger than that for you to call me for advice."
I plop down next to him. "No man. I kissed her and it was epic, and then she got all weird because I told her that her stomach was making noise and she needed to eat something."
Aaron shakes his head at me. "Daniels, you dumb son of a bitch." Then he proceeds to drain his beer.
"Okay, I get it. I messed up somewhere. But do you mind telling me what I did wrong so I don't do it again?"
Aaron runs his fingers through his hair. "Look, most women prefer if you pretend that they don't have anything going on with their bodies other than parts you want to kiss. So, when you told her that you could hear her stomach and she needed to eat, I'm sure it probably felt like a big deal to her."
I wrinkle up my forehead. "I wasn't making a big deal out of it or anything. I really wanted to make sure she ate something if she was hungry. I wasn't trying to make her feel awkward or weird."
I sigh heavily. "Why are women so freaking complicated?"
Aaron shakes his head. "That's the biggest question of a man's life, Daniels. Why are women so freaking complicated? Why do they act like it's the end of the world when you want to kiss them, especially if you want to keep things kind of quiet for family reasons?"
"Ugh, exactly. I don't want her freaking brother to kill me. She's a really nice girl and I want to kiss her plenty. I don't think we need to rub it in her big brother's face so he doesn't feel like he needs to kill me."
"What? Toni doesn't have a brother. It's her dad that's the problem." Aaron pauses, then smacks himself in the forehead. "You were talking about your girl. Not mine."
My eyebrows are about this close to shooting off my forehead entirely. "Your girl? Are you seriously telling me right now that the Toni D'Souza is your girl?"
He shakes his head. "Nope. She's obviously not my anything because she took off like her ass was on fire as soon as you called. Right when it was getting good too."
I stand up again and grab us two more drinks. "We're a mess."
"You're a mess. I'm completely put together and don't need any drama in my life. Even really scorching hot drama that occasionally wears leotards."
"Gross," I mutter. Although then I find myself daydreaming about Lily in a pretty pink leotard, that long curtain of hair all bundled up in a fancy looking chignon. I'd move up next to her and let her hair down, then bite the curve of her pretty neck.
"Shut it. You're on time out right now because you don't know how to act, so you don't get to tell me whether I'm being gross. Right now I'm being helpful, and you'd better pay attention."
I nod. "Okay. What do I do so that she wants to kiss me again?"
"You're going to have to apologize. And then probably go in for a grand gesture."
I keep nodding like my head might roll off soon if I don't quit. "Okay, got it. Grand gesture." I pause. "What's a grand gesture under these circumstances?"
He shrugs. "It really depends on the woman and the type of wrong you've committed. In this case, I'm going to suggest that you do something generous, semi-public, and probably food related."
I pause, beer halfway to my mouth. "Are you sure? I swear she got really weird about it when I mentioned the food thing to her. I feel like if I do something for her involving food, I might end up getting throat punched this time."
He shakes his head. "Trust me. I know all about groveling. You need to show her that whatever she thinks is a problem with you isn't a problem with you. The best way to do that is make a gift for her of some sort, something that directly relates to whatever mistake you made."
He gestures at me. "You made an unfortunate series of remarks about her food and her body. Therefore, you better fix it with something in that same general subject area. Otherwise you're placating her instead of showing her that you understand that you messed up and can do better."
"Huh." What he's saying actually does make some sense, I guess. And here's the thing, Aaron's told me before that his marriage wasn't an easy one. If there's any man who knows how to fix things with a woman, it's probably him.
"Well, I appreciate it. I guess I'd better think up a grand gesture. Should I warn her that I'm going to apologize or should I go for it?"
He shrugs. "You know her better than I do. You're the one with the answer."
We wait as my mind weighs the two options. One of them involves her probably hanging up on me and the other involves her possibly accepting my apology and kissing the living hell out of me. Well, that was an easy choice.
"Do you want to talk about the thing with you and Toni?" I feel like I have to offer, even though I really didn't come here to discuss whatever he's got going on with the Queen of the Mean Girls.
