Page 24 of Last First Love
"The thing is...." Her voice trails off and her eyes drop down.
"Yes Lily?" I will her to look at me again, begging her with my mind to meet my eyes and give me some real talk about whatever is troubling her.
She wriggles again, but it's definitely an uncomfortable type of wriggle, not a can't-wait-to-sex-you-up wriggle. I can tell the difference due to my infinite expertise at women and the sexy times.
"Daniels, I'm a lot bigger than you." She finally meets my eyes.
"Not true at all. I'm like a good eight or nine inches taller than you, I'm pretty sure." I shake my head at her. "I know we're different heights but it's not all that big of a deal. Besides, I like shorter women." I flash her a smile, because I'm definitely going to seal the deal with her now. I've got charming down to a science tonight.
She flushes again. "That's not what I meant." She sighs heavily, then licks her lips. "Daniels, I—I'm fat."
My nose wrinkles up while her words sink in. "So?"
She rears back as if I've slapped her. Oh, I really hope I'm not messing this up.
"So? What do you mean so?" She gestures at her chest. "Didn't you hear me?"
I've already either said the right thing or the wrong thing, and there's no turning back at this point. But I don't want to lie to Lily. I know she's not stick thin. But that isn't any sort of turn off to me at all. She's drop dead gorgeous, and I am damn sure going to make sure she hears it from me right now.
"Lily, I heard what you said. But just in case nobody told you lately, you're absolutely beautiful. I like everything about you and wouldn’t change a single thing about you. Not the way you blush, the way you have a whole layer of naughty underneath that sweet and innocent exterior, and especially not a single damn thing about the way you look."
She's sitting there staring at me like I've sprouted another head. You know, instead of giving her a compliment that she was obviously way overdue to hear. Maybe I'm not good at this after all.
"Look, I know this is a little bit complicated because of your brother, but I'm absolutely crazy about you. I don't want you to feel self-conscious at all about the way you look because you're incredible. If anybody is staring at us at the wedding, it's going to be because they're wondering what I did to get to be there with you, putting my hands all over you when we’re finally dancing together at the reception. They're wondering what they would have to do to be next to a woman like you."
I sigh and shake my head slowly. "I know that women get all kinds of bad ideas about what they need to look like, but believe me. I know how lucky I am to be with you tonight. I'm grateful to be the man who is trying to get your attention. And I also know for sure that when people are looking at us at Darcy and Thom's wedding, it's going to be with envy."
She's still watching me, weighing every word that's spilling from my lips. And I know I'm not the best at sweet talk. Heck, I don't have a romantic bone in my entire body. I'm basically good at making dirty jokes and that's about it. But I can't have her sitting here with me and worrying about how she looks for one more moment.
"Daniels, you don't date women like me. I've never once seen you with anyone who isn't stick thin and looks like she needs a sandwich. or like her clothes won't hold her giant megaboobs."
I squirm at her words. Because she's not wrong. My type has always been the flashy, short term type. And not the kind of woman I would get attached to, not the kind I wanted to hold close enough to protect. Not the grand gesture type.
Nothing like Lily. Lily is a woman I could definitely wrap my arms around. Hold her as close to me as possible. And protect her from all the negative talk out there, even the words that are circling around and around in her own mind.
"I've never felt like I had a chance with anyone like you. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Lily. And let me tell you that everything about you, especially your body is exactly right. There is nothing about you that I don't like already, and I can't wait to get to know you better. The real you. Who you are when nobody's looking except me."
Her eyes slide to my mouth and she licks her lips, and it's all I can do to hold in the groan that threatens to fall from my lips. I know she's thinking about kissing me again, and I want that more than I want anything else right now. Even tacos.
"I don't know, Daniels. I might be too much for you to handle." She gives me a sidelong glance that is definitely not shy and has my pulse racing.
"I'm man enough that I can handle you, Lily. I can give you exactly what you need. Please let me show you." I'm probably coming on way too strong, but isn't that the point of the grand gesture? I want Lily to take a chance on me. I can be the man who shows her exactly how beautiful she is. As soon as she says yes.
The moment hangs out there between us. I hold still, waiting to see what happens next. Is she going to say yes to me? Or do I die of blueballs right here in the middle of our taco picnic?
She stands up from the table where I've set up our picnic and her eyes meet mine again.
I'm waiting for her to answer me before I can breathe again.
She leans forward and tucks her hair back with one hand, then blows out the tiny candle.
Lily
Iturn and head toward the front door, and Daniels makes a noise of frustration low in his throat. Well good. He deserves to have a little bit of anxiety after the way he's been screwing with my entire sense of well-being.
I make sure to give my hips some extra wiggle as I very, very slowly ease open my front door. Then finally I turn to face him.
"The picnic is over." I try to sound sexy, but really I'm probably beyond awkward, due to feeling more than a little shy all of the sudden. What if he doesn't actually want to kiss me? What if this was some sort of elaborate apology, or even nothing more than another round of meaningless flirtation from him?
