Page 31 of Last First Love
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Hey," my voice cuts through their little round of bickering. That's cute and all, but aren't we all supposed to be grown ups here? "Pipe down both of you and help me fix this."
K.T. shakes her head. "Nope. Not touching any of that with a ten foot pole. And I don't mean your disturbing candle hoarding tendencies or your apparent ignorance regarding the delights of sensation play. I'm also including the blistered ballsack of Daniels in that very same equation." She shivers as the words spill out of her mouth.
Darcy flinches. Yeah, it does sound really painful to hear it put out there like that, but sometimes the truth hurts. And apparently so does burning off whatever hair grows on your balls. Makes sense, but I didn't really need to learn that particular life lesson firsthand in my own opinion.
Darcy pats my hand. "I'm sure he'll call or show back up once his condition clears up."
I give her a flat, skeptical glare. "He doesn't have poison ivy, Darcy. He has burns all over his balls because of me. I don't see how he's going to forgive and forget that whole episode."
She shakes her head. "You listen here. It was not your fault. If Daniels was trying to put the moves on you and ended up lighting himself on fire—" she pauses to glare at K.T., who is snorting with laughter she's not really suppressing by having shoved her entire fist in her mouth—"then I'm sure that's not the weirdest or worst thing to ever happen to him. He'll heal up and come right back over for another round of taco picnic and titillation. Just maybe with less open flames this time."
I sigh heavily. "No, no. We all know I'm not the standard one-night-stand type that a guy like Daniels prefers. I had my shot with him and now I'm probably going to have to wait another few years for him to even talk to me again."
Darcy shakes her head at me. "You're still on this kick about how you're not pretty enough to get with a guy like Daniels, huh."
My lips purse at the sourness of the thought, but eventually I nod. "You've seen the kind of woman he's always with. And she's not shopping in the plus sizes."
K.T. scowls. "You know you're really pretty though, right? Like you have absolutely zero to feel self-conscious about because you look exactly like the kind of girl that all men want to chase." She pauses. "Except Reed, because he knows I'd have to kill him."
This time it's Darcy who makes a noise of disbelief."That's not what's going on and you know it. That poor man has been crazy about you basically forever. He's damn lucky you took pity on him and gave him a chance with you. And all it took was some political corruption and a bad real estate deal."
"There was a little bit more to it than that."
Darcy shrugs. "There's a little bit more to everyone's love story than the part you actually see. Everyone’s story has these special pieces, the things that are only between the two of you. That's what makes the love real and lasting, and that's not something that other people can see from the outside."
I shake my head. "You can totally see it. Just think about the way that Thom was looking at you when he proposed. His entire heart was right in his eyes. Everyone can see it when it's the real thing."
Darcy nods absently. "He really did have the best look on his face. Almost like he was going to barf."
K.T. bares her teeth at me. "That's it. We've got to get Daniels past the flaming wiener stage and onto the almost barfing stage. Then you'll have the best time together at Darcy and Thom's wedding. And obviously you two end up hooking the hell up afterwards. Isn't that a thing? The best man and the maid of honor?"
I snort laugh. "He tried to convince me it was a thing. That's how we ended up kind of naked at my place together. So we could bang all the awkwardness out of our relationship before the wedding."
K.T. shakes her head. "That's not going to work. Daniels is seriously the most awkward person I know. Like he's a good guy and a good friend, but he's also completely ridiculous like twenty-four seven. Also, let me be the one to tell you that if you bang a guy like that, you're more likely than not going to end up wanting more than one night."
Darcy's eyes light up. "I just had the best idea. What if we come up with some other way to get all the awkwardness out of your relationship? Then you'll be free to go ahead and bang each other recreationally instead of for purposes of making your weird sexual tension fizzle out."
"I never said we wanted it to fizzle out."
Both of them pin me to the wall with flat-eyed stares that they must have rehearsed together.
"Okay, okay. I figured I'd do it with him really quick and get it out of my system. I've had a crush on him basically forever so this seemed like the best way of dealing with those feelings."
K.T.'s nose scrunches up. "False. Learn from my mistakes, Lily. Banging someonejust this oncenever ends well. One or both of you is always going to end up in big puddly love with the other and then the not-in-love person gets their feelings hurt and it's nothing but a vicious cycle until you end up engaged and living happily ever after."
Darcy shakes her head at K.T. "Don't try to give advice about how not to do things if it ends up with engagement and happily ever after, you jerk."
I don't mean to laugh, but I can't help it. "In her defense, K.T. does sound super miserable about her engagement to Reed. I don't know when she even has time to meet up with us between all those bouts of abruptly crying during the day because her life turned out perfect."
She snorts. "Not completely perfect by any means. I mean, his father still hates us both."
We both protest noisily, then I pipe up with the only reasonable response. "Trip Harrington is a walking human trashbag. If he hates you, then you're obviously doing something right."
Darcy applauds. "That's the entire truth right there." She shakes her head. "I still can't get over the fact that he sired and raised Reed and yet your fiancé is a shockingly decent guy. Other than his relationship with you, he seems completely normal."
