Page 46 of Last First Love
K.T. cracks her knuckles menacingly. "Yet."
Darcy gives her thecome onlook. "Here's the thing. Daniels came to the station today and basically told everyone with ears that he spent the night with a girl."
My hand flies up to cover my mouth, because I suddenly feel very much like I'm going to be sick. "Oh my God."
K.T. growls. "I'm going to kill him."
Delilah waves her off. "Settle down. Lily's in charge of what happens next, but let her hear the rest of it first."
Her words strike some chord deep inside me. I don't think I've ever been in charge of much of anything in my life, honestly. I feel like I spent a lot of my childhood taking care of the broken pieces of my mother after my father's abrupt departure. And then growing up under Elliott's thumb, I made it my job to stay low profile and keep out of trouble.
I'd had several really bad years in high school, the type of years where even my own friends were making fun of me for being overweight. One year, the student council did a Valentine's Day fundraiser for charity, and several of the girls I thought I was friends with chipped in to buy me a singing telegram of Baby Got Back. You know, because I was very obviously bigger than them, even then. So how funny was it to have a group of my classmates singing about big butts to me?
After sitting in class and being serenaded with a song about how big my ass was, I basically cut myself out of the social scene. I spent more time in the darkroom than anywhere else and got better and better at what I loved to do, so I didn't have to deal with the phoniness of the friendships I thought I'd had.
Until we had Girl Club, I wouldn't say I had any female friends. I only had myself. My art. And that was good enough for me.
When a woman I literally just met announces that I get to be in charge, it definitely feels good. Even though every single thing about this situation is making me wish I had never met Ken Daniels in my entire life.
"What's the rest of it? Who’s the girl?" I go ahead and tip back the other shot and plunk the tiny glass onto the table. Angela reaches over and pats my hand gently.
Darcy takes a deep breath and lets it out before she speaks. That moment of hesitation is enough to knot up my entire stomach like a macrame project. I'm definitely going to throw up after this. I'm not made to withstand this kind of stress.
"Daniels is telling everyone it's you, Lily. The entire town knows by now that he spent the night at your place, and he even told the guys at the station that he talked it all out with your brother afterwards."
"Oh my God," I say again. I can definitely feel the pinch and burn of tears clogging up my throat, but I'm not going to cry. Not here, in public, where everyone can see me. I can't stand for people to watch me crying of all things. My entire face goes red and blotchy and it's never a good look. Definitely more like I'm having some sort of allergic reaction to my feelings than anything else.
Maybe I'm overreacting. "Okay, maybe I'm freaking out about this way too much. I spent the night with Daniels and he decided to tell everyone at the station he banged a fat chick. Good for him, I guess."
At my words, all the women at the table tense up. Angela visibly flinches and I feel for her, I really do. She's not exactly a size two either, and I'm willing to bet that part of the reason she's shy is because she's so much like me. I'm willing to bet that she had the same crappy high school experience I did, despite running with the It Girls of our high school.
Darcy pats my hand. "He never said it like that. I promise, I would have personally eviscerated him if he's said anything even a little bit demeaning about you."
I take a deep breath and plant my hands on my thighs, trying to force them to stop shaking. "Okay, well. He and I both know what did and didn't happen between us. And if he wants to make some big public scene about it and make it sound like we did a lot more than that, then that's really his problem." I wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans. "Not mine."
K.T.'s shoulders unclench a little bit. "I'm still going to kill him."
Darcy gives her a little half smile, then turns her attention back to me. "No, Delilah was right. You get to decide what happens now." She starts tapping the toe of her work boot again. "Daniels had to know that the guys at the station would go tell their wives and girlfriends about what happened with you. If anything, he seemed to be talking it up like he wanted them to talk about it."
My mouth goes dry. "This is my fault," I manage to gasp out the words.
Delilah turns to me, looking fierce. "Don't you dare think that. Not even for a minute. There is no man on earth who gets to take away your privacy without your express say-so in the matter."
I shake my head, the tears brimming in my eyes this time. They're definitely going to spill and then everyone is going to watch me like I'm a zoo animal. The Fat Girl Weeping in the Corner.
"I told him I couldn't have a relationship with him because I didn't want to deal with what people would say about us together."
Now all four of the women are looking at me like I laid an egg, right there in the middle of the table.
Darcy speaks first. "Are you telling me he asked you out? And then did this when you told him no?"
My blood is pounding in my ears. I shake my head a little. "He asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him I didn't want to deal with all the gossip and snide remarks involved in that situation."
Angela crosses herself. K.T. looks as angry as I've ever seen her. It's almost like little sparks of electricity coming off her body at this point.
Darcy holds up a hand to forestall any other questions. "Let me make sure I understand. Daniels spent the night with you and then asked you to be his girlfriend. And you told him no because you didn't want to stir up gossip, so then he went out of his way to stir up gossip."
Hearing it all laid out like that is like a physical blow to the face. The tears fall from my eyes and slide down my cheeks, and I make a really embarrassing hiccup-sob noise.
