He cuts me off before I can respond. “Tate, you’re not listening to me. This isn’t about Nikki. I’m not spending any more of my time or energy on Nikki.”
I wish I believed him, but I’ve also been a witness to his mood the last few months. “J, it’s obvious to me that something is wrecking you. Maybe not carryout sushi and action-movie type ruination, but there’s definitely something wrong.”
He sighs. “I’m telling you Tate. This is not about Nikki. She was a bad person who was cheating on me, and apparently all of you knew that, but you didn’t want to tell me.”
I can feel the blood leaving my face. Should I have said something? “I suppose we all thought it was your choice. You’re allowed to choose what you’re willing to put up with from your girlfriend. What would work for me in a relationship might never work for you.”
“You’re not wrong. For instance, I don’t know how I would handle it if I had sex with my assistant even after my best friend warned me it would be a terrible idea and then she started avoiding me as much as possible.”
Sometimes I wonder how I am friends with these people at all. There aren’t too many people who can hurt my feelings anymore, and yet here I am, under siege yet again.
“She’s all but quit. I think she’s only hanging in there to make sure the gala happens.” I rub my forehead, the headache that is growing behind my left eyeball. “Let’s drop it,” I say, but even in my own ears the words are hollow and don’t seem particularly convincing.
“You started it,” says Jackson.
“We all make mistakes.” I squish the phone against one shoulder, and reach up behind myself to put up my hair.
“You can say that again,” he mutters.
“Well, Jackson, we all make mistakes.” See, I can be funny on purpose. Funny-ish at least.
“Tell me about it,” he says, setting up the next part of the joke.
“We all make mistakes, Jackson.” Take me, for example. If I could talk to Erica, I’m sure I could clear things up, but I haven’t seen her since I stomped out of the office, and she hasn’t answered her phone since the day we fought.
And even I can figure out why. I’m not really stupid, no matter what my father or the press or the general public thinks. Even if I think I’m stupid sometimes, too.
Erica’s gone, and it’s because of me. She said it wasn’t a big deal, but I made it into one anyway. All of thatafterI acted completely freaked out about her giving me her virginity. And then that entire mess with the Bella LeGrande photos everywhere.
The timing couldn’t possibly be worse. The entire Crystal debacle hasn’t entirely faded from the press, and here comes another round of manufactured drama, even though I made Jackson swear she agreed to my no-kissing policy.
No wonder Erica is avoiding me. I have negative publicity following me around like a dark cloud at this point. I barely want to be around me, but I don’t have much of a choice, do I?
Jackson coughs, breaking up my runaway thoughts. “You can say that again.” He hates this joke but he’s doing it for me, to cheer me up. I can tell, and I really appreciate it.
“I guess I can go home now. Since there’s nobody here.” Do I sound like a little kid who is sulking? Yes, I do. But honestly, I’m sure I could clear this all up if she would just talk to me.
“Go home, Tate. There’s only a few more days left before the gala, and you need to keep a low profile. We’ve already had two of the bigger investors drop because of this newest scandal.”
“It’s fake, Jackson.” I want to yell at him, but it’s not exactly his fault. “Obviously you know I don’t run around making out with every woman within arm’s reach. Also, Bella agreed to come and put on a very respectful display of how deeply platonic our friendship truly is.”
He makes a very insulting humming noise, like he’s thinking it over. “Sure. You would never do that. Make out with a beautiful woman and be certain you get photographed while doing so.”
Honestly, he’s lucky I can’t reach through the phone and choke him right now. Jackson’s being really mean for someone who is supposed to me one of my best friends. “You know there’s only one person I’m interested in kissing. And she’s not answering my calls.”
He makes a rude sound. “I’m pretty sure that is automatic grounds for terminating her employment with you. You’re still her boss. She has to still do her job, no matter what kind of mess she led you into.”
“J, seriously. That’s enough with you talking shit about Erica. I don’t know what to tell you to help you get over this problem you’re having, but Erica and I are going to work this out. It’s going to be fine.”
“I still don’t understand what you don’t understand about the part where she’s not coming back, Tate.” I can practically hear him shaking his head. “You swore to me that hiring her was going to be fine, and then it wasyourgreat idea to get her to be your date to this gala. And then I was right because next thing was she was using your name in public to get what she wanted. Yet despite all of that, you still went ahead and slept with yourmuch younger assistant. And wow, look at that. I was right, yet again, and now it’s a disaster.”
“J, I am not doing this with you right now. I have to make sure everything is under control for First Steps.” I clear my throat. “But for what it’s worth, it’s not a disaster. I’m sure that everything with Erica is going to turn out fine.”
“You’re ridiculous. You need to put some of this energy into writing music again so you can quit being so miserable all the time. Honestly, you’re worse than Bas these days.”
I recoil at his words, but I can’t exactly argue with him. I’ve been barely functioning for a long while now, and even if nobody else can see it, my best friends can.
“You sure do talk a lot about how I should simply hurry on up and get over being miserable. Especially considering that you are just as miserable as I am. Maybe more.” I know I’m being mean to him, but he deserves to hear the truth from someone who loves him. “Everything is going to be fine.”