Page 34 of The One Plus One
‘I was angry when I said that.’ She pronounced itengry.By the end she was alwaysengry.He rubbed at his eyes, flicked the indicator to signal his exit onto the coast road.
‘I just wanted some reminders of when we wereheppy.’
‘You know, maybe the next time you miss me you could take away, like, a framed photo of us, not a fourteen-thousand-pound limited-edition print of Mao Tse-tung.’
Her voice dropped to a whisper. It filled the dark confines of the car, almost unbearably intimate. ‘Don’t you care that I have no one to turn to?’
Her voice was feline, a soft, sad growl. It made his balls tighten reflexively. And she knew it.
Ed glanced in his rear-view mirror. ‘Well, why don’t you ask Jim Leonards?’
‘What?’
‘His wife called me. She’s not very happy, funnily enough.’
‘It was only once! Once I went out with him. And it is nobody’s business who I date!’ He heard her roar of outrage. Could picture her, one perfectly manicured hand raised, fingers splayed in frustration at having to deal with ‘the most annoying man on earth’.‘You left me! Am I supposed to be a nun my whole life?’
‘You left me, Lara. On the twenty-seventh of May, on the way back from Paris. Remember?’
‘Details! You always twist my words with details! This is exactly why I had to leave you!’
‘I thought it was because I only loved my work and didn’t understand human emotions.’
‘I left you because you have a tiny dick! Tiny, TINY dick! Like a pawn!’
‘You mean prawn.’
‘PRAWN. CRAYFISH. Whatever is smallest thing! Tiny!’
‘Then I think you actually mean shrimp. You know, given you just walked off with a valuable limited-edition print, I think you could at least have granted me “lobster”. But sure. Whatever.’
He heard the Italian curse, the clumsy slamming down of her phone. He drove for several miles that later he would not recall driving. And then he sighed, turned on the radio, and fixed his gaze on the seemingly endless black road ahead.
Gemma rang just as he was turning down the coast road. Her name flashed up on the hands-free and Ed answered before he’d had time to think about why he shouldn’t. It felt like every time his phone rang it was just so that somebody could yell at him.
‘Don’t tell me. You’re really busy.’
‘I’m driving.’
‘And you have a hands-free thing. Mum wanted to know if you’re going to be there for their anniversary lunch.’
‘What anniversary lunch?’
‘Oh, come on, Ed. I told you about it months ago.’
‘I’m sorry. I haven’t got access to my diary right now.’
He could hear her taking a breath.
‘They’re going to let Dad out next Tuesday. So Mum’s doing a special lunch at home for them. She wanted us to be there. You said you’d be able to come.’
‘Oh. Yeah.’
‘Yeah what? You remember? Or yeah, you’re coming?’
He tapped his fingers on the steering-wheel. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Look, Dad was asking for you yesterday. I told him you’re tied up with a work project but he’s so frail, Ed. This is really important to him. To both of them.’
