Page 68 of The One Plus One
‘Five to two it’s rubber bread. On special.’
‘I’m going to go right out there and say sliced cheese,’ said Mr Nicholls. ‘What odds will you give me on sliced cheese?’
‘Not specific enough,’ said Nicky. ‘You have to go forDairylea or cheaper own-brand orange-coloured slices. Probably with a made-up name.’
‘Pleasant Valley Cheese.’
‘Udderly Lovely Cheddar.’
‘That sounds disgusting.’
‘Grumpy Cow Slices.’
‘Oh, come on now, she’s not that bad.’
Tanzie and Nicky started laughing.
Mum opened the door, and held up her carrier bag. ‘Right,’ she said brightly. ‘They had tuna paste on special. Who wants a sandwich?’
‘You never want our sandwiches,’ Mum said, as Mr Nicholls drove through the town.
Mr Nicholls indicated, and pulled out onto the open road. ‘I don’t like sandwiches. They remind me of being at school.’
‘So what do you eat?’ Mum was tucking in. It had taken only a matter of minutes for the whole car to smell of fish. Tanzie thought Mr Nicholls was too polite to say so.
‘In London? Toast for breakfast. Maybe some sushi or noodles for lunch. I have a takeout place I order from in the evening.’
‘You have a takeaway? Every night?’
‘If I’m not going out.’
‘How often do you go out?’
‘Right now? Never.’
Mum gave him a hard look.
‘Well, okay, unless I’m getting drunk in your pub.’
‘You seriously eat the same thing every day?’
Mr Nicholls seemed a bit embarrassed now. ‘You can get different curries.’
‘That must cost a fortune. So what do you eat when you’re at Beachfront?’
‘I get a takeaway.’
‘From the Raj?’
‘Yeah. You know it?’
‘Oh, I know it.’
The car fell silent.
‘What?’ said Mr Nicholls. ‘You don’t go there? What is it? Too expensive? You’re going to tell me it’s easy to cook a jacket potato, right? Well, I don’t like jacket potato. I don’t like sandwiches. And I don’t like cooking.’ It might have been because he was hungry, but he was suddenly quite grumpy.
Tanzie leant forwards through the seats. ‘Nathalie once found a hair in her chicken Jalfrezi.’
