Page 117 of We All Live Here
And then Lila says: “It was…a nice thing.”
Gene tilts his head, rubs at it with his right hand. He relaxes a little. “Huh.” He shrugs. “Well, she did only want Bill. It seemed like the right thing to do.”
“How long have you been seeing the girls? I’m guessing you’ve been coming here the whole time.”
He grimaces. “Every day. Don’t be hard on them. It’s my fault. Ijust…I knew you had your hands full. I didn’t want them to think I’d deserted them. But I should’ve said. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She stares at him, at his saggy, apologetic face. At hisI’m Sorry, I Was Probably HighT-shirt. At the way he clearly doesn’t know what to do with any of his limbs.
“God, Dad.” She throws up her hands. “Why can’t you just let me hate you like a normal person?”
His face collapses a little. “Ah, don’t hate me, Lila baby. You’re killing me.” He steps forward, and she feels his big arms surround her, the resoluteness of his hold on her. She feels, suddenly, as if she’s four years old, before she knew he was leaving, before she felt that nothing would be reliable ever again. She stands and grips her father, ignoring the people moving stuff around them, the excited squeals of the children emerging from the changing rooms, Mrs. Tugendhat’s urgent demands for kitchen roll from somewhere in the distance. She lets herself rest against him, holding him as tightly as he is holding her, wondering at the fact that finally, thirty-five years late, she may have been able to rely on her father more than she had realized. Finally she pulls back, and wipes at her face, trying to pull herself together.
“So. What’s this about a Comic Con?”
Gene’s face lights up. “Oh. Yeah. It’s going to bring in some money, hopefully get my profile up again. First one’s in Seattle in a couple of weeks.”
“Seattle? America? You’re going back to America?”
They gaze at each other awkwardly. And there it is, gone. Lila feels the familiar ice close around her, the shell once again taking hold.
“Well, yeah. I mean it’s good money.”
“Right.”
Gene’s eyes travel across her face. “Oh…no! But it’s only a week. I’m—I’m going to need somewhere to stay when I come back.” As Lila stares at him, he continues, “I mean, ideally, I’d want to keep on hangingwith everyone…my family…I—It would feel pretty crappy to have got to know everyone just to disappear again.”
Lila makes sure she has heard him right. “You’re coming back?”
“Oh, sure. These fan conventions are only a few times a year. I’m going to have to find some work in between times. Ideally, right here.”
Violet appears between them, beaming and wearing her normal clothes. She has located a packet of Walkers and is stuffing her face with cheese and onion crisps.
“Great job, kiddo!” Gene’s voice is suddenly booming again, filled with confidence. “You rocked that narration! You carry on like that, and we’re going to have to find you an agent!”
Violet, still chewing, accepts his praise as her due, and takes Gene’s hand with casual possessiveness. She registers Lila standing there, and turns back to him. She waits until she has finished her mouthful then says, “Are you coming back with us?”
Gene looks at Lila. She sees her father’s uncertain expression, Bill’s relief, Violet’s fingers inside her grandfather’s hand, the whole familial mess of it all. “Yes,” she says. “Gene is coming back with us.”
Violet throws her arms around him. “Yay! We can watch that episode ofStar Squadron Zerowhere you and Vuleva meet the sexy aliens! I found it on YouTube.”
Gene’s gaze flickers toward Lila. “Ah, maybe not that one, honey. I’ve seen that one too and that—that one was not, strictly speaking, aStar Squadronepisode.” And then he quickly changes the subject and starts sweeping up the excess glitter.
•••
It is almosthalf past eight when they walk out into the lobby area, where a multitude of parents are still milling around waiting for stray, overtired children and drinking the dregs of their wine. The air is thick with congratulations, exclamations, mothers trying to locate coats andbags, the odd father studying his watch and murmuring that they should go. She spies Celie, saying goodbye to Dan, who is carrying an exhausted Hugo, and Lila lifts her head, trying to see over everyone, to locate Jensen. “I think he must be still in the school hall,” she tells Gene and Violet, but they are deep in conversation about Mr. Darling wetting his pants, and she isn’t sure they hear her. She’s just about to walk into the hall when she hears a sudden commotion behind her, a kind of collectivewhoo!Something makes her turn back.
She feeds her way through the thin crowd and there is Gabriel Mallory, bent over in a small semi-circle of people. He is wiping red wine from his face. Standing a few feet in front of him, Jessie is wearing a denim dress and a pair of orange Cuban-heeled boots. “You,” she says, into the stunned silence, “are an absolute knob.” She turns to his mother, who is staring at her, aghast. “Honestly, I hate to blame other women for the abysmal behavior of men but youreallyneed to have a word with your son.”
Jessie puts down her empty glass and starts walking back through the crowd, apparently oblivious to the shocked stares of the other parents. It is as she reaches the coat pegs that she spots Lila, who is standing open-mouthed. She does a small double-take, as if it is the nicest of surprises to find her there. “I hoped I’d see you. Want to go for a drink sometime?”
Lila closes her mouth. “Yes. Yes, I do,” she says, nodding. “Definitely.”
Jessie flashes her a grin, then reaches for her coat on the peg. “Great. I’ll give you a call.” And then she walks offbackstage.
Chapter Forty-one
It is the oddest thing: Lila cannot stop smiling. It is as if a strange sense of joyousness has infected her little family; they had ridden home together in Jensen’s pickup, Violet and Celie squashed between them in the front three seats, and Gene sitting in the open back, wedged against whatever is under the tarpaulin, pulling faces for the girls against the rear windscreen while they all prayed that no police would pass by. The girls keep singing “You Can Fly!” in one of those rare, unforced moments of sibling harmony. It makes Lila’s heart swell, and she joins in, despite the fact that she knows only half the words, exchanging silent, amused looks with Jensen, even though she probably sounds like an idiot.
