Page 84 of We All Live Here
“Two. I’ve had two. And I’m not sure I’m made for sexy adventures either.”
They sigh and take a sip of tea.
“I slept with the hot architect.”
“But that’s great!”
“And I think he’s cooled on me.”
“What do you mean?”
Lila tells her about the lack of texts, the vague promises that aren’t met. She tells her her darkest secret: that somehow she fears she had forgotten how to do sex properly, or hasn’t kept up to date with the latest moves, or had done something boring or repulsive to make Gabriel go off her. She had spent almost half an hour examining her jawline in a magnifying mirror looking for stray chin hairs.
“Don’t be daft. It’s nothing you’ve done. He’s one of those men. He’s bread crumbing you.”
“He’s what?”
“I’ve read about it on the internet. It’s a thing. They give you just enough to keep you on the hook, but not enough to suggest a real relationship.”
Lila shakes her head. “That’s not it. He’s not that kind of man.”
Eleanor pulls out her phone and types something. Then she starts to read: “Blows hot and cold.”
“Okay. Maybe.”
“Uses a generic nickname.”
“Mm. He calls me Bella. That’s not quite generic.”
Eleanor pulls a face.“Implies he wants a relationship, and says things like ‘you’re just my type’ or ‘you’re too good for me’ but with no real follow-up.”
Lila is getting a sinking feeling.
“Avoids too many dates. Something always feels off.”
Lila feels a bit sick now. “He’s a bit hard to pin down. You really think that’s what it is?”
“Gives you a sob story so you invest in him emotionally.”
Lila puts down her mug. “His wife actually died, though. Is that a sob story?”
They agree that that one could go either way.
“Asks for photos.”
“Sexy photos? No. He doesn’t do that.” She feels briefly flooded with relief.
“It says here they may not even be aware that they’re doing it. And he could be genuine. But if you can tick a few of those it’s probably worth thinking about.”
Lila thinks of the many conversations she and Gabriel have had. The long, almost nightly chats. The fact that she is the only parent at schoolwho has taken Lennie home. The way he looks at her. The way he understands what it’s like for her. “I don’t know. He’s maybe some of that, but he’s definitely more than that too. I mean, I don’t want to write him off just because he’s had a busy week at work.”
“Then don’t. But don’t drive yourself nuts about it either. C’mon, Lila. Just have a straightforward conversation with him. You’re forty-two years old.”
“I knew that was coming.”
“That’s why you love me.”
They sit for a moment, taking turns to reach into the biscuit tin.
