Page 10 of Candy Hearts
Benji’s hands trembled as he unhooked the braces of the overalls. He let the bib fall to his waist and started to lift his T-shirt over his head.
Then the reality of what he was about to do hit him. Hard.
It hit him that he was wearing a baby-pink harness and lacy jockstrap under his overalls. Oh fuck.
He’d never … never done this.
Well, he’d given blowjobs, of course, but he hadn’t revealed this part of himself—the part that wore pretty underthings on the regular—to a sexual partner. He’d tried to broach the topic with his ex, but it hadn’t gone well. At all. There had been laughter involved.
“You don’t have to take your shirt off,” William said. “We can stop.” William was watching him too intently, reading all kinds of things in Benji’s hesitation.
“I don’t want to stop. But …”
“Whatever it is, you can tell me. I’m your fake valentine, remember?”
Benji closed his eyes and tried to weigh his options. One of his newfound goals was being open. Being himself. Not changing who he was while in a relationship to satisfy someone else. So maybe this would be a good start. It wasn’t real, which made it safe. William had promised to be a good valentine. This was practice. For both of them.
And if it went poorly, Benji could leave. No harm, no foul.
Right?
Benji whipped his T-shirt off.
William gasped, the sound almost drowned out by the logs crackling in the fireplace.
“What do we have here?” William ran a shaky fingertip over the strap at Benji’s shoulder. “I thought you were kidding about the sex toys and lingerie.”
“Wasn’t.”
“Yeah, I see that. Damn, you firecracker. Fuck.”
When Benji had put the harness on earlier, he hadn’t expected anyone to see it. He simply enjoyed feeling the straps and silk and lace on his skin. He’d needed an extra boost of confidence, and having something sexy on under his clothes, like his own inside joke, helped him get his butt in gear.
The straps of this harness were pink and butter soft. It was one of his most expensive pieces. He’d gotten it after going to an adult-novelty convention with Sasha. She was a dildo slinger (okay, she was the head of marketing) for a sex toy and lingerie company called Lady Robin’s Intimate Implements. The harness had cost half his paycheck.
Worth it though, to see the dumbstruck expression on William’s face as he fingered the delicate straps. His breath was coming out in shuddery gusts, and his dark eyes were wide and hungry.
So hungry.
“Oh fuck,” William whispered. “I, uh. I’m not … God. I’ve never seen anything like you.”
“Do you like it?”
William nodded. “Likeyou. Likeyouin it. Do you wear this stuff a lot?”
“Yes. Kind of.”Just never during sex, Benji almost said, but he realized he was skirting way too close to something he’d secretly wanted for as long as he could remember. He didn’t want to jinx it or have to explain it.
“What made you put this on this morning? I want to hear about it.” William pressed closer to Benji and kissed the underside of his jaw, his stubble waking up Benji’s skin.
“It made me feel sexy, I guess. And I, oh shit.” William had dropped his hand to pluck at Benji’s nipple, nudging a strap out of the way to get to it. Benji tried to keep talking. “I’m a big guy. I work in a traditionally dude-bro-ish industry. It … oh yes … it makes me happy to know I’ve got this on under my clothes. As if I’m pulling one over on everyone. Gives me an ego boost. Are you sure you like it?”
Benji was so fucking tired of putting parts of himself away for fragile, childish, little men, but he couldn’t help but ask.
William was practically vibrating out of his skin. His composure was cracking all over the place.
“Yes.”
One simple word, and it might have been the sexiest, most validating word Benji had ever heard.
