Page 53 of Candy Hearts

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“Decided to find love.”

“Yeah. I want what Sasha has. What Avi has. I want a partner to celebrate the good things with. I want to celebrate their good things too.”

“Have you ever been in love?” Benji asked.

William kissed Benji’s ear. He was getting obsessed with Benji’s ears. “The closest I’ve ever been was with Wren.”

He let that sit for a second, worried Benji wouldn’t take it well. Instead, Benji laughed. “I should have seen that coming. What happened?”

“I’ve known Wren since I was thirteen and she was eleven. Grew up together. Wrong sides of the track. I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone, but I was self-absorbed. I was too focused on ladder climbing and corporate takeovers and investments to fall in love. And she didn’t love me either. We joke that we’re soul mates, but we’re notin love. Never have been, despite trying.”

Benji let those words sit between them for a few seconds. Then he said, “I’ve never had love in the romantic sense or even like what you have with Wren. I love my sisters. They love me, but that’s different.”

“You’re young. There’s plenty of time.”

William knew immediately that that was the wrong thing to say. Benji didn’t tense or freeze up, but the atmosphere around them changed, like he’d checked out emotionally. William wondered if it was the defense mechanism Benji had used in the past with the jerks who wanted him to be different than the brilliant, vibrant man he really was.

William hated that he’d impelled such a reaction. He pressed a kiss to the hinge of Benji’s jaw, feeling sandpaper stubble on his lips. “I’m sorry.”

“How do you know when love appears, do you think?” Benji touched William’s kneecap under the water, tracing it with a fingertip. “I imagine billboards and balloons and hearts in my eyes, but maybe I’m wrong.”

The question felt loaded. This whole conversation felt loaded, but William didn’t understand why, exactly.

“I think it’s quieter than that. It’s in the moments of little disaster. The moments when things go wrong, but they’re stillso rightbecause of who you’re with. The dropped mugs of coffee and the clothes accidentally ruined in the wash and the …”The power outages.

“Grand gestures are nice though,” Benji said. “Big public displays of love. Real shouty stuff. Someone proclaiming, ‘I lovethisperson, in all their glory,so there.’”

“So there,” William echoed. He hoped Benji got that one day. Benji deserved it. He deserved the big “shouty” proclamation. To be shown that he was loved with no reservations or stipulations.

“Yeah.” Benji looked over his shoulder, giving William a huge grin.

William stroked the side of Benji’s face, inadvertently soaking it with bubbles. They both laughed. William took his mouth in a searing, soap-scented kiss.

They made out lazily in the darkness, no big rush to reach a destination, just enjoying the ride. William wanted so many things, even though his body was sated and tired and done for the night. He wanted to ask Benji to stand so William could eat his glorious ass. He wanted to kiss Benji’s chin. He wanted to see Benji’s eyelashes clumped and wet in the humid air. He wanted to turn Benji around, watch the puffs of soap caress and slide off his shoulders as Benji came on his face. He wanted to taste that lush divot in Benji’s bottom lip.

But this was good too. William put his mouth to the warm shell of Benji’s ear and whispered praise and curse words and pleas. Benji lifted a long, gorgeous leg out of the water and planted his foot on the lip of the tub, opening himself up to William’s hands. So William touched him, mapped the length of his thigh and the tendon of his groin. Yes, this was good.

It was good as William tripped a finger up Benji’s cock. As William’s fingertips trailed over Benji’s hole, skin soft from the water.

It was good, so good, as Benji’s breath hitched in his throat, and he flung his head back against William’s chest.

Light.

Light so bright that William thought it was in his head, his mind a rampage of rawness and happiness and desire.

But Benji jumped and hissed, “Fuck.” He stood, water and bubbles sluicing off his glorious body and falling over William. “Fuck fuck fuck. William, get up.”

“Huh?” William closed his eyes against the pain in his retinas. “Shit.”

“Yeah.Shit. Come on. Every light in the house just turned on.”

William’s body mourned the loss of Benji in his arms, and his mind couldn’t catch up. He sat and scrubbed a hand over his face. Benji was already drying off with a towel, his movements jerky and frantic.

“Holy smokes, get a move on!” Benji tossed a towel at William’s head. William caught it and stared at him. “William,” Benji said, his voice a low whine. “They’re going to discover you’re not in the sunroom if you don’t hurry your ass up.”

Oh. Right.

They were a secret.